


Erotomania

by Anonymous_Ostrich



Series: Siren AU [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Blood and Violence, Blow Jobs With Teeth, Brainwashing, Conditioning, Desperation, LOTS of merman sex, M/M, Makoto's POV, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Merman sex, Underwater Blow Jobs, Underwater Sex, dark!Haru, it might get weird, siren au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-13 03:06:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 41,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2134755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Ostrich/pseuds/Anonymous_Ostrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Tachibana family moves back to Iwatobi, Makoto discovers that his hometown is being plagued by a blood-thirsty Siren. Although he knows he may eventually become lunch, Makoto can't help but give in to the allure of the beautiful creature, and soon finds himself trapped in an unthinkable relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of the ocean is something I never forgot. Even now, the salty musk hits me like a wall when I step outside my house, filled to the brim with childhood memories.

Ever since my family moved back to Iwatobi, I've been in the habit of taking a deep breath before leaving for school every morning. My younger siblings don't have the same urge. They were too young to remember anything significant before we moved away, and so the smell of sea water seems jarring to them, a stark contrast to the smell of a big city.

The walk to Iwatobi High School is a short one. The town isn't very big to begin with, and it's even smaller now that I've navigated it in a bigger body. I never thought about things being big or small when I was younger, Iwatobi seemed plenty big enough. With the ocean stretched out just next to town, it almost seemed infinite to me back then. Now, I know the amount of steps it takes to get to the nearest convenience store, and I find myself missing the days when my footsteps didn't mean quite so much.

I arrive at school early. Although Nagisa is no where to be found, I see Matsuoka Gou milling around the hallway before class. When I first transferred to Iwatobi High, Gou had immediately recognized me, which came as a surprise. I had only been in the swim club with her brother for a short time, but I suppose the relay we swam left an impression, even if we lost. I was surprised to learn that Rin was back in Japan; immediately after the relay, Rin had moved to Australia, and I had lost all contact with him after that. Although I was tempted to ask Gou for Rin's number, I didn't. After so long, it seems awkward.

"Nagisa is awfully late," Gou says irritably. I wonder why exactly she's worrying about Nagisa's tardiness, but I bite my tongue and smile.

"There's still time before the bell rings, I wouldn't worry."

"I'm not worried about him being _late_ , Makoto-sempai," Gou sighs, her expression contorting into something dangerously gossipy. "Haven't you heard all the rumors? What if Nagisa was _taken_?"

I feel my eyebrows raise, and I stop walking. "Taken?" I repeat, crossing my arms. "You mean like kidnapped?" Was that something I should have been worrying about? Nagisa certainly hasn't changed over the years, that much was certain; his personality is still as energetic and bubbly as ever, but is that really an attractive trait for a kidnapper?

Gou is shaking her head adamantly, her eyes fierce. "No, not kidnapped! You really haven't heard?"

The way Gou's voice lowers and hushes at the end of her sentence sends a shooting chill down my spine. I know the inflection when someone is about to tell me something scary, and I hear myself laughing nervously purely out of habit.

"I've only been back in Iwatobi for three weeks. I'm not exactly up-to-date on all of the latest gossip."

Gou leans forward, as if she's going to tell me a secret, her face set in a serious expression. Without thinking, I incline my face, a silent agreement to listen to whatever it is I'm about to be told.

"In the last year or so, several people around town have gone missing. Completely missing! No bodies are found or anything of the sort. It's just like they're spirited away."

I can practically feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I've never been able to tolerate scary stories of any variety. The horror genre is one I have never been able to understand. I remember asking my mother about it once, through tears, after having heard a ghost story from a friend. She told me that people like to be scared, that it gives them a thrill. It shocked me that other people were purposefully scaring themselves. It would probably be easy to call me a wuss or a coward, but thankfully, no one has ever really bothered to tease me about it.

I'm standing straight again suddenly, the color in my face undoubtedly drained. "Wh-what? Seriously?" I level her a suspicious glare. "You're sure that's not just a rumor? I mean… Do you know these people are real? Were they on the news?"

Gou nearly looks stricken. "I wouldn't say it if it was just a rumor!" she exclaims seriously. "I knew one of them! He ran the convenience store by my house. The police can't figure any of it out, and no one has any idea what it's all about. Some of the students here think that those people just wandered away to go commit suicide somewhere far away, like some sort of suicide pact."

"That's terrible!" I say. I'm surprised I haven't heard of this since returning. Then again, if there are no bodies to speak of, and no real apparent crime happening, I suppose it's exactly the kind of thing that would become fodder for horror enthusiasts and gossiping teenagers.

I try and think about it logically. What if those people were doing it as an elaborate prank? It seems unlikely, but I can't help but think about it. How else could several people just vanish without a trace in such a small town?

I'm so deep in my thoughts that I don't hear the soft footsteps behind me, or expect the two hands to come down on my shoulders, jolting me to reality with a sudden horror.

" _Some say it's the curse of those who have died at sea, dragging the innocent deep down to the ocean depths to their death_!"

It's Nagisa, I know that somewhere, but the horribly scary thing he's said mixed with my surprise elicits exactly the reaction he's looking for. I jump, sputtering a shameful yelp as I whirl around, gripping a hand over the spot where my heart is thumping out of control.

"N-Nagisa…! Don't _do_ that!" I manage to chastise him, somehow.

Nagisa is wearing an impish smile, arms still raised from having grabbed my shoulders. He giggles. "Mako-chan, I didn't realize you scared so easily!"

I'm embarrassed that my arms are trembling, but I think I'm the only one who notices. "I can't help it, when you two are saying such freaky things!"

"It's true, though!" Nagisa continues, as if I asked for further clarification. For the record, I didn't. "Four people have gone missing in the last year. People who knew them said that right before they disappeared, they were all talking about hearing a song coming from the ocean. Creepy, right?"

I look at Gou with wide eyes. "Is that true?" I ask quietly.

Gou nods. "Yeah. That was an actual statement released by the police. They had nothing else to go on, so they wanted to at least make that information public."

My stomach churns. I didn't come to school today expecting to hear something like this. I came to school smelling the fresh ocean breeze, and now I'm positive that if I even glance at the ocean on my way home I'll have to relive this eerie story all over again. So long, pleasant reminiscence.

The class bell rings, and I'm incredibly happy to have an excuse to leave Nagisa and Gou. As I make my way to class, I can't help but think about what they told me. It's a fact that high school students are inexplicably drawn to the creepy and occult, but when the stories actually have merit, I consider that a whole new level of terrifying. I don't want to, but maybe I should look all of this up when I get home. If it turns out to be just a rumor that gained enough momentum to actually cause others to believe it was true, that might give me comfort.

If it turns out to be completely true, on the other hand…

.

.

.

I didn't think it would be so hard to pick a club. Nagisa is stuck on the idea of reliving our childhood by forming a swim club, but the pool here has been out of commission for so long it's basically developed its own ecosystem. I don't really have the heart to tell him that I'm not as into swimming as he is, either. I joined the swim club in elementary school because Rin asked me to, because he thought I'd be good at it. I was good enough to get by, I suppose, but I've always been a bit afraid of the water. And after we swam the relay and Rin left, I really didn't see the point.

"You should consider the track team," Rei says with a smile, chopsticks between his fingers. "You've got a very athletic build, Makoto-sempai. I think it would work beautifully for track."

"Really? I'm not too tall, or broad or anything like that?" I ask curiously, lowering my bento box. I always thought that runners had to be small and lean.

"Not at all. The current captain of the track team is nearly as tall as you, and he can pole-vault much more beautifully than I can."

Nagisa nearly chokes on his food in his haste to counter Rei's words. " _Nooo_ , Mako-chan! _Swim club_!"

I smile apologetically. I really do feel badly for not being as excited about the idea as Nagisa. "Nagisa, there _is_ no swim club. The pool is a mess, I doubt the school will want us getting anywhere near it."

As Nagisa puffs his cheeks out indignantly, Rei adjusts his glasses importantly. "Nagisa-kun, you should consider track over swimming. It's a much more beautiful sport, and it's incredibly satisfying, as well."

"Swimming can be beautiful, too," Nagisa says in a pout.

I busy myself with eating my squid. I feel guilty that I'm not taking the swim club idea more seriously, but if I force myself to go along with Nagisa, I won't be able to give it my all. That will only end up backfiring on Nagisa in the end. If I'm honest with myself, there's no club that's really sticking out to me. Still, I want something to keep me active and fit. Track doesn't sound half bad for that purpose, and I _am_ pretty fast.

To avoid rubbing salt in Nagisa's wounds, I decide to find Rei later and ask if I can sit in on one of their track meets.

.

.

.

I wake up feeling groggy.

It's hard to remember exactly when I fell asleep, but my reading light is still on, and my window is open, the night breeze gently rustling the curtains. Rubbing my eyes, I sit up, a textbook falling from my chest to the ground with a flop. I pick it up, fussing over bent pages, and lean forward to place it gently on my desk.

Something catches my ear, barely audible. I wonder if someone is watching TV at this hour, and I strain to listen, closing my eyes. It's a song. At least, I _think_ it's a song… It doesn't sound like any kind of song I've ever heard before, but I can distinctly hear a tune floating into my senses, accompanied by strange words in a language I don't recognise. _Are_ those words? Now that I think about it, I can't decide why that was my first assumption. If I really listen, the sound mingling with the haunting tune seems like part of the music itself, as if it's all being created from the same source.

The more I listen to it, the more aware I become. The mysterious tune has successfully pulled me from my half-asleep stupor, and now I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, body rigid, heart pounding. The sound wasn't coming from my house. It was coming in through my open window. Is it getting louder? A moment ago, I was struggling to hear it all, and now I feel like someone is singing directly outside my house. Nagisa and Gou's story drifts unpleasantly into my mind. After coming home from school the day they told me, I looked up the Iwatobi disappearances and found several articles about it. It hadn't been hard to find information, and it certainly wasn't a hoax. The story of the song heard by the victims was easy to find, too. Ever since I'd found out the validity of the claims, I had felt uneasy. And now here I am, sitting in my room in the middle of the night, hearing an eerie song floating in through my window.

I feel panic rush to my throat, and before I can think about what I'm doing I'm turning toward my window, sliding it shut. The sound stops immediately, as if I sliced it in half with my action. Doing everything I can to not look out the ominously dark window, I pull my curtains hastily across the window and jump back into my bed, switching off the light I'd left on. I yank the covers up around my shoulders, push my face into my pillow, and I listen.

Nothing. I hear absolutely nothing. What's strange is I can still hear the crickets outside, but the song has stopped. Did I imagine it? Was I actually dreaming? I squeeze my eyes closed, as if that will help me get to sleep faster. I must have imagined it. Waking up in the middle of the night can cause all kinds of auditory hallucinations.

Even with that thought in mind, it takes far too long to fall asleep.

.

.

.

Track is challenging, but it's enjoyable nonetheless. I played some basketball in middle school and my first year of high school, so I'm not quite as out of shape as I could be, which helps. Still, I'm learning, and my time and form are ripe for improvement.

Nagisa gave up pestering me about the swim club, and he never gives me any grief for it, but I still feel a bit bad whenever Rei and I are discussing our club activities around him. He's joined his own club and he seems content, but I can tell that he really did want to swim with me again.

"You haven't heard that creepy song again since you told us about it, right?" Nagisa asks me, walking slightly ahead of us on an elevated line of bricks that is framing a public flowerbed, arms outstretched for balance. I smile and shake my head.

"No. I told you, it was just a dream. And it was because _you_ filled my head with all of that creepy stuff."

The nightmare-ish song I'd heard two weeks ago had not returned, and by now, I've fully accepted the entire ordeal as an unpleasant dream. The morning after I had double checked with the rest of my family to see if anyone else had heard the haunting melody, and no one had. So the only logical answer is that I was dreaming.

"You would have heard about all that _eventually_ ," Gou rushes to say. "And then you had to go ahead and look up a bunch of stuff on your own."

I laugh. "That's true. I really wanted to know if it was all for real, though. It would scare me more to not know."

"Still, that's rather frightening all on its own, to dream about something as unsettling as that." Rei says. A girl from his middle school was one of the four disappearances, so Rei takes the matter more seriously than I would have previously assumed. He seems too logical to believe in unrealistic theories and mystical songs that spirit people away.

"Don't worry, I've been sleeping fine!" I say, and then I work to change the subject. Dream or not, I can still clearly remember the song. I don't like to think about it if I can help it. I just want to forget it happened.

.

.

.

Nightly runs have become part of my routine.

I like having an excuse to get out of the house after dinner and clear my thoughts. It isn't as if being home is troublesome or that I have a hectic home life, it's just nice to be able to reflect and organize my thoughts for the day. Jogging helps me do that, and now that I'm a member of the track team, I have an excuse to do so. Not that I needed an excuse, but it helps keep me motivated.

It's a clear night, and the ocean is calm. There's a park up ahead that I've dubbed my 'turnaround' point, and I'll be arriving in just under five minutes, if my timing is right. There's a water fountain up there, which is why it's perfect. I don't actually feel particularly winded tonight, but my throat still feels rough from the cool night air and I'm impatient to get a drink of water.

I stop running. Headlights from the cars passing to the right of me are bearing down on me relentlessly, but I can't see them properly. I'm focused on something else, something nearby. I'm not sure whether I heard it or felt it first, but I'm straining to listen, trying desperately to tune out the sound of the light traffic. It couldn't be…

I cup my hands around my ears and close my eyes. As soon as I do, it feels like the sound has grown ten times louder. It's the same melody I heard several weeks ago, in my bedroom. There's no doubt about that. The same tune, and the same strange sound accompanying it, both of them working in tandem to create something captivating.

When I open my eyes, I'm walking.

I feel a surge of fear as I realize that I'm not wholly controlling my direction. I'm walking away from the park, heading down the steep bank just beyond the railing. When had I stepped over the railing? The song is louder than ever, boring mercilessly into my ears as if I were wearing headphones. I turn my head to view the road behind me, but I'm unable to stop my feet. Cold panic seeps into my chest as I realize where I'm heading.

The water's edge. The ocean.

The story of the missing people surfaces, and a jolt of panic causes me to yell out and fall backwards. I land ungracefully on my rear, sliding down the bank the remaining distance until I land on a patch of grass at the bottom.

The song is no longer drilling into me, but it hasn't left. Now it sounds like it's coming from everywhere at once, dancing around me like bright red butterflies caught in a strong wind. I try covering my ears, but it doesn't help. It's loud and insistent, and without thinking, I'm on my feet again.

Am I going to die? I don't want to die. I don't want to disappear. My thoughts are frantic and terrified as I walk timidly toward the water's edge. I feel like I have more control of my functions now, but regardless, I'm heading in the very direction I don't want to go.

I feel like I'm two people, and I'm arguing with myself. Half of me is more scared than I've ever been in my life, wanting nothing more than to turn around and go home and possibly stay there for _days_ ; the other half is more brazen than I ever remember being, untroubled with my possible fate, pushing onwards out of curiosity. Perhaps the curiosity belongs to all of me. Fear aside, there's always a burning sense of intrigue for things we don't understand.

Sticking out of the water a little ways off is an old wooden dock that looks as though it hasn't been used in decades. I have to wonder how it's still standing. The wood is dark and rotting, and it seems it's no longer possible to walk on it. I'm heading toward it presently, and the singing is louder than ever.

I'm scared. I don't know exactly what I'm going to find, but on some level, I do. My mind is in shambles because of that song, but I feel like I'm hearing words inside of my head, too. I feel like it's easier to give in to the words. Everything will be easier that way, _easier…_

I reach the edge of the water next to the decrepit docks and I have a sudden surge of reason.

As if I'd just pulled away from puppet strings I yank myself backward, temporarily breaking the spell and once again falling back onto my ass. I'm panting like I'd just run from one side of town to the other, and I can feel sweat trickling down my back, sticking my shirt to my skin. I cover my ears again to blot out the sound, but it's useless. It continues.

My eyes are trained on the water in front of me, and as soon as I see something disturb the surface of the water, the song stops. The sound had been so consuming that it almost feels like the whole world has come to a stop along with it. Everything is so deathly quiet, I almost wish the music would come back to fill the void its left behind.

My eyes aren't completely adjusted to the darkness, and I'm no longer near any street lights or cars, so it's hard to differentiate the figure rising out of the water from the water itself. My heart stops. It's a man. Or at least, it's meant to resemble one. His skin is a sickly cyan-blue color, freckled around the cheeks and shoulders with a darker blue. His hair is as black as the sky above us and looks slick to the touch. He's muscular but lean, and he appears to be naked.

His eyes are trained on me. They haven't moved from my position on the ground since he emerged, and I am absolutely captivated by them. They are the deepest blue I have ever seen, and I swear that they're _glowing_. The whites are tinted a pale orange, and they too give off a sort of ethereal light. Is this bioluminescence? I can't help but recall the anglerfish, who uses a glowing lure to catch their prey.

I'm completely immobile as he watches me. His face is calm, composed, almost curious. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking, if he's thinking anything at all. I wish I could talk, scream, do anything other than sit in the mud and stare with wide eyes and a slackened jaw, but there's nothing I can do. Despite how scared I am, I'm equally mesmerized. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. I feel confident that I could live one-thousand years and never see anything so splendidly perfect.

As I sit transfixed in terror and awe, he pulls himself up out of the water, and begins closing the distance between us. His eyes haven't left me. I vaguely wonder why he doesn't just stand up - and then I see the rest of him.

Just below where his belly button would be, his body forms into a thick, giant fish tail, the end of which blossoms into a beautiful fan pattern, translucent and worn from the dangers of the ocean. From his lower back protrudes two flowing appendages that resemble seaweed, the same color as his tail. He has six pink-tinted slits running along the contours of his ribcage - gills, I realize - and it strikes me then and there that I'm witnessing the impossible.

I don't have time to be shocked. He's right in front of me, his hands coming up to touch both sides of my face, long nails gently pressing into my skin. I don't want to die. He's going to kill me. I'm going to be the fifth missing person, and my family will never find my body. My limbs want to run away but my mind won't let me. All I can do is stare into those beautiful eyes, and let him do what he wants.

I hear that sound again, the indescribable sound I heard before that accompanied the music. It gnaws its way into my brain, tearing my thoughts down and building up new ones. This is how he speaks. I try to listen to what he's telling me, but it's difficult at first. Much of it makes no sense, but I start catching certain words and phrases that are louder than the others: hunger, water, mate, long way, fish. Haruka. That word continuously floods my consciousness, over and over. _Haruka_. Is his name Haruka? It's an unbelievably beautiful name for him. I want to say it out loud, but my mouth doesn't work. It doesn't matter, anyway. I'll be dead any minute now. At least I could know his name.

A cold, wet mouth closes over mine.

I can't breathe. I close my eyes out of instinct, my heart beating so fast I'm positive I can feel it in my throat. Am I being _kissed_? Haruka moves his lips against mine hungrily, dipping his tongue inside of my mouth, pressing against my own tongue and willing it to comply. His lips are cold, but his breath is hot. He tastes somewhat metallic, and there's a lingering hint of fish. It's not disagreeable in the slightest, but perhaps I'm just grateful that I'm not being killed.

Haruka utters a musical moan into my mouth, and my thoughts are dashed away by the confused beginnings of arousal. Tentatively I begin to respond, moving my lips against his, heating them up. His tongue is lively and eager, and I have the sudden urge to push my own wet tongue into his mouth, desperate for more of whatever this is.

I'm afraid to touch him. My hand twitches, wanting to touch his face, or hold the back of his head, or tread my fingers through his hair, but I have no idea what will happen. I feel like a prey animal that's being played with. There's a thrill running through me, but I'm scared to make a move lest the predator tires of the game.

I can hardly tell, but as he's kissing me his hands are slipping to my shoulders. Haruka has snugly slipped in between my thighs, pressing his wet torso against my chest and soaking through my shirt. I want to feel his skin. I'm angry that I'm too cowardly to touch him, so I kiss him harder, more frantically. In reply, he sucks my lower lip into his mouth and gently nibbles it between his teeth. Dear lord, his teeth are sharp. I can feel them digging into the flesh of my lip like a row of needles, and I suddenly realize I can taste blood. I should be horrified, but instead I feel a flood of warmth in my lower body, and my cock begins to stiffen in my running shorts.

Haruka pulls away, and my mind is a haze. I nurse my bleeding lip by sucking on it, running my tongue over the puncture wounds.

"H-Haruka…" I somehow find my voice, but I'm embarrassed when my voice comes out as more of a moan. He watches me, still as stone, until he slowly moves again, his mouth finding the side of my neck. My entire body freezes. I imagine those teeth on my neck, and I suppress a shudder.

He's kissing my neck with care, but he's doing something else, too. He's _smelling_ me. He stops every now and again to press his nose to my skin and take a deep whiff. He leaves a trail of kisses down my neck, traveling to my shoulder. He sniffs me again, long and deep, and before I can decipher what he's doing, he bites into me.

I can't believe how much it hurts. His jaw is clamped down on my shoulder, ripping through the cloth of my shirt, teeth tearing into my skin. The pain brings me back to reality, and I yell out in pain, my arms giving out under me and landing me on my back. Haruka falls with me, teeth still firmly planted in my shoulder, warm blood dribbling down his chin and down my arm.

I've somehow gained my motor functions back, but I'm in too much pain and shock to do much. I try pushing him away, but he's firmly latched, jerking his head this way and that like a dog with a piece of raw meat. I can't even properly yell anymore, I'm too occupied trying to pry him off of me. Haruka finally releases my shoulder and looks into my eyes. I'm beyond relieved, but only for a brief moment before he viciously bites my shoulder a second time, in the same place, his teeth sinking deeper into me.

My vision blots out and I scream. It _hurts_ , it hurts so much… I need to get away, but the second voice in my head is telling me to stay. I desperately try and focus on something to help break me away from whatever Haruka has done to my brain, but it's hard to think of anything other than the pain and how beautifully Haruka's eyes catch the moonlight as he tears into me.

 _Ren and Ran_. My precious siblings. I force their image into my brain, and I focus on them with all my might. If I don't come home, what will happen to them? As their big brother, it's my duty to protect them. Even though they're my siblings, I love them like they were my own children. I need to be there for them. As I grab Haruka and wrench him away from me, this is my mantra. It's just enough to drown out the intrusive thoughts long enough to fling Haruka off of me and stumble to my feet.

I'm slower about it than I would have liked, and I brace myself for the classic horror-movie ankle grab, but it doesn't happen. I turn to see Haruka staring at me with that same cool gaze, mouth covered in my blood, holding himself up with his arms as his tail flops lazily in the water. I'm horribly close to giving in to him again, but I summon the image of my siblings and turn away, running as fast as I can in the direction of civilization.

I don't have to turn around to know that he's watching me go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh well then.
> 
> Based off [this post](http://ostrich-cakes.tumblr.com/post/94197823836/makoto-is-out-jogging-when-hes-pulled-in-by-a). Originally this was going to be a one-shot but I have too many ideas about it. I don't know how long it'll be, but probably only about 5ish chapters?
> 
> This is going to be a really dark fic, and it's gonna get ridiculously smutty. And sad. Or just really messed up. I don't make any promises about anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto does some research online, and returns to the water for all the wrong reasons.

I've never lied to my parents before.

I suppose I probably have, somewhere along the way, but never like this. I hate lying, it makes me feel awful. In this case, however, there was nothing else I could do. How else could I explain it? The wounds on my shoulder weren't exactly something I could hide, and I was in too much shock upon returning home to even be able to form coherent sentences. They told me I burst through the front door, covered in blood and out of breath, just standing in the entryway without saying anything. I honestly can't remember how I got home. I don't really remember much of anything after I fled from the beach. I came to my senses in the hospital, as a doctor was injecting me with a painful shot. Rabies vaccine, he said. I am told that when my parents asked me what happened on the way to the hospital, I finally told them that I was attacked by a dog. I don't remember saying it, but I must have.

I couldn't tell them the truth. Even if they _did_ believe me, what would happen? Would police go out on boats to look for the mystical perpetrator? Would scientists be arriving in Iwatobi in droves? If Haruka was actually caught, what would they do to him? Would he end up on one of those nature shows, or in a zoo? Or would they just keep him in a lab and experiment on him? _Dissect_ him? The thought makes me shiver, and it also makes me feel fiercely protective, though I can't place why.

I can't bring myself to hate him. I'm _terrified_ of him. As I lay in my bed, shoulder throbbing, I try and defuse the part of me that desires him. I trace my fingers over the bandaging covering the eleven stitches on my shoulder, trying to remind myself of what Haruka is capable of. He _attacked_ me. If I hadn't come to my senses when I did, who knows what he would have done to me. I'm positive at this point that Haruka is responsible for the Iwatobi disappearances, and I was alarmingly close to becoming the fifth victim.

Still… Why _wasn't_ I?

My tongue runs over the inside of my lip, feeling for the puncture marks. _My first kiss_. I can feel my face heating up in embarrassment. Why did he kiss me? Did he do the same to his other victims? For some sickening reason, my stomach churns uncomfortably at the thought. Is that normal for his species? What _is_ his species, if not human? Is he an actual _mermaid_? Like in the fairy tales?

I close my eyes and try desperately to get comfortable. If it weren't for the pain in my shoulder and the ugly stitches holding my shoulder together, I might have assumed that I passed out during my run and imagined the whole thing. I know I didn't imagine it. Haruka is real. And no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about him. I _can't_. Is he still out there, at the edge of the water? Is he waiting for me to come back? Or is he luring some other unsuspecting stranger? Do I want to save that person, or envy them?

It must be the effects of the song lingering around me still. I can't get my brain right, and the shock of the evening is probably still setting in. Regardless, I'm exhausted.

I can still clearly see Haruka's beautiful face behind my closed lids as I finally feel myself drifting to sleep.

.

.

.

I wake up early.

I'm not sure how much sleep I got, but I don't remember having any dreams. I shift to stare at my clock, and immediately groan in pain. The pain meds have worn off, and my shoulder is throbbing with an intense dull ache. Getting up, I pull up my sleeve and check my shoulder in the mirror. The dressing is all still in place, and there are no blood stains on the bandaging. I'm supposed to redress the area daily, but I'm not really up to seeing the state of the wound yet, so I decide to leave it until later.

Judging by the lack of sound coming from the rest of the house, I guess that I'm the first one awake. That's actually a comfort. My parents and siblings were fussing over me so much last night, I'm not sure I'm excited to face all of them today. My mother has me on strict orders not to attend school, although I personally don't feel like there's any need for that. I'm not exactly looking forward to a full day of pampering. It's not that I'm ungrateful, but it's incredibly embarrassing, and I still feel an overwhelming amount of guilt for lying to them at the hospital.

I grab the pain medicine from my desk and pop two of the tablets before sitting down. I stare blankly at the sparse papers and utensils that litter my desk, wondering how to spend my day. I've never stayed home from school without being bedridden before, so I almost feel like I'm doing something wrong. Habitually, I grab my laptop and open it. It takes a moment to boot up, and when it does, I pull up the browser and I'm greeted with a search bar. My fingers hover uncertainly over the keys. Against my better judgment, I start typing.

[ are mermaids real ]

I'm immediately reminded that I should never look up these sorts of things on the internet without being more specific. Videos are the first results, most of them ridiculously phony 'real footage' clips of mermaids caught by unreasonably shaky cameras. Some of them are much better quality, but they've already been debunked. None of them look remotely like Haruka. I alter my search.

[ real accounts of mermaid encounters ]

I get much of the same content, but with added results varying from forums to blogs, all of them brimming with 'real stories' from people who have claimed to have seen mermaids. I read a few of them and quickly become frustrated. They're describing classic mermaids, the kind that look entirely human except for an exoticly colored fish tail in place of their legs, like Ariel from _The Little Mermaid_. Haruka is much more than that, so much more beautiful and animalistic than these accounts.

Just as I'm thinking of how to rephrase my search, a website catches my eye, "Mermaids and Sirens: Mythical Cousins of the Sea". _Sirens_. I've heard about them, of course, but never had a reason to learn anything about them. I click the link.

I'm disappointed that there isn't a better description of them, but regardless, the article is informative. Although historically there doesn't appear to be a definitive appearance for Sirens, it's said that they were often depicted with wings or a fish tail similar to mermaids. By all accounts they sound like blood-thirsty carnivores, and their song was said to entrance and lure sailors to their death. A strange surge of elation courses through me. Am I excited because I've learned that Haruka is likely a Siren? It's hard to tell. Even though I got a good nights sleep, I still feel off.

_"Their song, though irresistibly sweet, was no less sad than sweet, and lapped both body and soul in a fatal lethargy, the forerunner of death and corruption."_

A chill quickly replaces the excitement as I read the words. Haruka has been luring people from Iwatobi with his song, and presumably eating them. Should I tell someone? I'm not sure if anyone would believe me, but I can't just let him keep taking people, can I? Isn't it my moral responsibility to put a stop to it, now that I know?

 _I'm still alive_. This thought has been clinging to me ever since I snapped out of my stupor at the hospital. I refuse to believe that I escaped Haruka because of my strong will or my wits. When I was with Haruka, I had never felt weaker. I'm positive that if he had wanted to, Haruka could have held me firmly under his spell. Why didn't he? Why did he leave me just enough consciousness to be able to escape him?

I absently touch my lips, and I can almost _feel_ Haruka's cold mouth pressing against mine. The memory of it makes my heart flutter, and I'm disappointed in myself. _These feelings aren't real_. If Haruka is a Siren, then he's able to manipulate my emotions with his song. I have to stay rational. Even though I can no longer hear it, it's still with me, floating around in my memories. I touch my shoulder again as an added reminder. _Don't be fooled_. I'm not sure why he kissed me, but it was most likely a trick of some kind.

I close my laptop and turn in my chair, staring out the window. The chances are good that I'll hear his song again. I'm prey that has escaped, and what's worse, I'm wounded, making me the most pathetic kind of prey there is.

What scares me the most is that I'm yearning to see him again.

.

.

.

"What kind of dog was it? Was it a big dog?" Nagisa asks before taking an unnecessarily large bite of sweet bread.

"It wasn't a huge dog. Pretty normal sized." I answer, the guilt sinking into my stomach along with my lunch.

"How did it get you on your _shoulder_?" Gou asks, brows drawn in concern. Ever since I saw her this morning before class, she's been giving me that concerned, careful look, as though I had come back from a harrowing battle.

I laugh, a bit nervously. "I knelt down to pet it. I guess that wasn't the best idea."

"It's fortunate it didn't bite you in the face, Makoto-sempai," Rei says seriously.

"Right?" I laugh, scratching the back of my head. I've been getting non-stop questions and remarks of this nature all day. I really do hate lying, but it's gotten easier throughout the course of the day.

"I hope someone finds that dog and deals with it. Having a dog wandering around like that, attacking random people… It's really scary." Gou says, sighing.

"Well, I wouldn't go _that_ far. I shouldn't have tried to pet a dog I didn't know in the first place." I hear myself say. Why am I _adding_ to the lie? I should have just agreed, and then tried to change the subject.

Gou hums thoughtfully. "I guess so. But still, whether you engaged it or not, no sane dog should be attacking people like that, right?"

"He was just doing what comes naturally, I think," I continue. I'm not sure why, but I have a wild urge to defend the imaginary dog from my story. I feel slightly offended that the dog would be solely to blame for my wounds. "You can't blame an animal for acting on instinct, or at least, I don't think anyone can hold that dog accountable for acting naturally. That's just how I feel, anyway."

Nagisa giggles. "Mako-chan, you really love animals! Even when you've been attacked, you still don't blame them! You should be a vet!"

"You think so?" I laugh.

.

.

.

As the days march on, my shoulder continues to heal, and my mind continues to deteriorate. I'm able to keep up with my schoolwork and I can talk normally with my friends, but I'm finding that my thoughts are becoming more and more irrational. I think of Haruka often. _More_ than often. I can't help but wonder where he is, what he's doing, and every night I fall asleep expecting to hear his song.

It's been a full week since my encounter with him down by the abandoned docks. I miss him. I know it's insane. I keep telling myself to stop thinking about him, to be stronger than whatever he's done to me, but it's hard. I want to see him. I _need_ to see him. Why hasn't he called me back to him? Did I do something wrong? I know I was trying to defend myself, but it's possible that Haruka doesn't understand what he was doing was hurting me. I've read everything I could find about the mythology of Sirens, and it seems consistent that Sirens operate on the basest of animal instincts. Haruka was hungry, and I denied him a meal. Is that the reason he won't let me hear his song?

"Onii-chan, pay attention!" Ran chides. I'm playing video games with my siblings as this particular thought hits me, and I must have zoned out. We're playing a racing game, and my car is stuck against a wall. I hadn't even noticed.

"Sorry, sorry!" I sputter, righting my vehicle and making my way back to the track. "I'm not too good at these kinds of games…"

"You've never had trouble before," Ran observes suspiciously just as she crosses the finish line. Ren interrupts by throwing his hand in the air, gesturing for a controller with his other hand.

"I play winner!" he exclaims, and I hand him my controller with a smile.

"Onii-chan, is your shoulder bothering you?" Ran asks in concern, and Ren's smile suddenly dissolves with unease.

" _No_ , no. Really, it's healing well. I didn't even take any pain medicine today!" I assure them. Really, all I feel in my shoulder is a slight prickle of discomfort whenever I rotate a certain way. "Sorry for making you worry." I add. My siblings immediately relax, and a moment later, they're getting the game started. I watch them play, feeling restless.

Ran wins again, and as they argue about specifics, I stand up and stretch as much as my shoulder will allow. "I think I'm going out for a run," I say.

My siblings both cease their argument and stare at me with wide eyes.

"What if that dog that attacked you comes back?" Ren asks seriously.

Ran nods fervently in agreement. "You shoulder is still healing, onii-chan! Didn't the doctor say you shouldn't strain yourself?"

I smile and pat them both on the head. "It's been a full week, I doubt that dog is still wandering around. Besides, mom gave me pepper spray to carry just in case. I won't strain myself, either. The only thing I'll be straining is my legs."

Ren and Ran still don't seem entirely convinced, but they relent and order me to be careful. As I go to let my parents know, I feel the strangest mixture of excitement and fear. I can't stop thinking about Haruka. Maybe seeing him again, forcing myself to look at what he really is will quell the burning longing I feel. The danger of the endeavor is far from my mind. I want to see him. I want to talk to him. Maybe I can convince him to leave the people of Iwatobi alone.

This is how I justify my actions as I tap my running shoes against the floor and head out into the waning evening.

.

.

.

I'm not going in without a plan. I realize that I'm acting rashly, but I haven't _completely_ lost my senses. Before taking my normal route, I stop off at the grocery store nearest my house and buy some fish. Mackerel is on sale, so I buy five pounds of fish and load it into my backpack. I leave quickly and head toward my destination, the dead fish in my bag weighing me down.

Even without his song guiding me, I easily navigate my way back to the dilapidated docks. My hands are gripping the straps of my backpack so hard my knuckles are bleached white, and I can feel my arms trembling. I'm embarrassed about how frightened I am. I sternly remind myself that I'm here of my own accord; that's right, I'm here to try and talk to Haruka, and see if I can convince him to leave the humans of Iwatobi alone. I've brought the fish as a sort of peace offering. I'm not entirely sure if he even eats fish, but I know that while his mind was mingling with mine, I heard the word _fish_ prominently. This is a strong fishing town, so it's possible that Haruka isn't able to fish here easily, and resorts to using his other skills.

I approach the docks and my vision begins to swim. I can't tell whether I'm nervous or if Haruka is somewhere nearby, influencing me. Either way, I still feel like I have control of my body, which is an enormous relief.

Stopping at the water's edge, I look out at the water. It's calm. The night is cool and the moon is obstructed by clouds, making visibility difficult. Is he even here? A jolt of realization hits me as I pull off my backpack and lower it to the ground, opening it. There's no guarantee that Haruka is here. Who knows how far he can travel in a week! He could be halfway to Australia by now.

I remind myself that the disappearances in Iwatobi have been happening for over a year. Haruka _must_ either live near Iwatobi or frequent it. There are plenty of small islands nearby, and I imagine, lots of places a creature like him could live relatively undisturbed.

I shake my head and take a deep breath, pulling one of the fish out of my bag. I'm thinking way too much about all of this. If he's gone, there's nothing I can do about that. Besides, wouldn't that be a good thing?

Steeling myself, I toss the fish into the water, right next to the dock.

Everything is quiet for several minutes.

I can't expect anything to happen right away. This is a long shot as it is, so I have to be patient. Gathering my nerves, I sit on the sand and pull my knees to my chest, watching the dead fish bob sadly in the water. The night air is becoming more and more crisp the longer I remain motionless, and I find myself rubbing my hands together for warmth. Should I try calling for him? I'm not sure that's a good idea. Would he even be able to hear me?

Just as I'm considering it, I notice the fish move. More accurately, the water under it is moving. It looks similar to the subtle tug of a fishing lure right before its grabbed by the fish, and I suddenly tense, my entire body warming in excitement.

The slight movement becomes a sudden thrash, and before I can react, water is flying in every direction and the fish is dragged underwater. I'm on my feet in an instant, my heart in my throat. I'm overcome with a shameful sense of longing. _I want to see you again. Please don't swim away, please let me see you_.

The water calms once more. The fish is gone. In its place, bubbles are rising to the surface of the water, followed finally by shreds of what I can only assume are pieces of the mackerel's head. My eyes are searching the water, looking for a dark shape from below that resembles Haruka.

I'm not sure how much time passes as I stare into the water. The bubbles cease. Something is emerging, water sliding off of his hair, his eyes bright and locked onto me with undeterminable purpose. Just as his nose becomes visible, he stops. He's staring through me, as if trying to understand why I'm here. I feel so swept away, it's hard for me to react.

"I - I wanted to see you," I say, immediately embarrassing myself. Why am I talking like a love-struck school-boy? Haruka doesn't move, watching me carefully. I feel the familiar thrill of unease, but I manage to keep myself from showing it. "Did… Did you like the fish? I brought you more, if you're still hungry…"

I see the slightest flicker of understanding. Under his piercing gaze, I move to my backpack and pull out two more fish. At the sight of them, Haruka raises his chin above the water.

I carefully move forward and toss the fish in the water, several feet away from Haruka. His eyes shifting between me and the mackerel, Haruka finally floats closer, grabbing the fish nearest him. I watch in amazement as he rips into it with the same teeth he used on my shoulder days previous, tearing the fish to shreds with alarming ease. He strips every trace of meat from the bones in under a minute, spitting out a dorsal fin before tossing the skeleton aside. He reaches for the second fish, and with wide eyes I watch him repeat the action.

When he's finished with his mackerel, he sinks back into the water, keeping his eyes just above the surface. I embarrass myself further by holding out a halting hand.

"Wait!" I cry shamelessly. He doesn't move. He continues to stare at me, his eyes glowing dimly in the suffocating darkness. "I'm not going to try and hurt you or anything like that… And I'm not angry about what happened before…" He knows that. I _know_ he knows that, but I find myself saying it anyway. "I just really wanted to try talking with you. Is that okay?"

Haruka barely moves. His eyes are fixed on me, unblinking, and for the briefest of moments I wonder if he even has eyelids. He drifts closer to my position, his powerful tail leaving ripples in the water as he goes. His movements are predatory in nature, and I can feel my flight instinct buzzing wildly, but I remain firmly planted.

 _Fish_.

The word shoots through my brain like a streak of phantom light behind closed eyes. I can hear it clearly, much more clearly than during our first encounter. Haruka's voice. It's hard to tell exactly what he sounds like, because I'm unaccustomed to hearing something without the use of my ears. Regardless, it's a beautiful, passionless voice.

"Wh-what? Fish?" I kneel down to the water's edge as he comes nearer to me. "Did you like the fish I brought?"

 _More_.

I smile apologetically. "I'm sorry, that's all I brought with me. But I can bring you more some other time, if you want."

Haruka stares at me silently, as if he's contemplating something. I'm concerned with what he might be considering, given that he's just implied that he was still hungering.

"Haruka is your name, right?" I ask, trying to take his mind off of his stomach. "I heard it when I met you, along with a bunch of other words. It was the only name I heard, so I assumed…" I trail off when Haruka raises out of the water just enough to nod his head. So he _can_ understand me - that gives me some relief. It's possible I can reason with him.

"Do you… Live nearby? Near Iwatobi?" I ask. He stares me down for several seconds before answering with a shake of his head, his wet hair sending droplets flying. "You don't…?" I suddenly recall hearing the words 'long way' in my mind a week ago, but it hadn't made any sense at the time. "Where is your home?"

Haruka takes so long to answer, I almost wonder if I shouldn't have asked. Finally, I hear him.

_Far from here. Gone._

My chest burns with an alarming amount of affection. Although his words are sparse, the strange connection his speech has to my brain is feeding me muddy images of a dark beach somewhere foreign to me. It's hard to make out, but it looks like the water is black with pollution, and if I focus hard enough, I can see massive fishing boats in the distance. The sensation of hearing and seeing something simultaneously in my mind almost throws me off balance, but I hold my ground.

So that's what happened. Haruka was forced from his natural habitat, and he must have wound up here somehow. He was hungry and alone, and his song must have attracted humans because of Japan's dense population.

"That's awful…" I say. "Do you have anyone else? I mean… Family? Or maybe friends?"

I'm surprised by an abrupt clicking sound. The sound is emanating from Haruka, and he appears to be creating it with his throat.

 _No_. A pause, and then: _Alone_.

"Oh... I'm sorry…" I reply. Although I apologize, I get the distinct feeling that Haruka isn't bothered. It's presumptuous of me to assume that Haruka's species is a social one, or that they live in groups. I'm not even sure he's a mammal.

The voice in my head is quiet for some time as Haruka stares at me cryptically from the water. I'm not sure what to say. I want to mention the Iwatobi disappearances, but after what I've just learned, I can't bring myself to. In a way, I'm happy that he told me. I feel like he's confided in me, but I'm unsure if he feels the same way. The way he speaks is so cold and unfeeling, it's hard to imagine that he finds his predicament anything but irritating.

 _Makoto_.

Hearing my own name in my head takes me off guard. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he knows my name. I stare at Haruka with wide eyes, and in reply he flops his tail behind him listlessly. A sudden fear strikes me.

"Y-yes… My name is Makoto. Haruka, can you… read my mind…?"

 _Not everything. Surface thoughts. Thinking_.

I don't have time to decipher his confusing words. Haruka lifts an arm out of the water, extending his hand toward me. He's beckoning me into the water, and I'm caught in his gaze, unable to blink or look away. What will happen to me if I take his hand? My shoulder burns suddenly as if to remind me of the possibilities. I gave him fish, but was that enough to satisfy him?

Despite my uncertainty, I realize that I never had any intention of refusing him.

I take his cold hand, my legs shaking. Gently, he begins to pull me into the water. I feel water slosh past my ankles, then my calves. The water is cold. I can barely recall my fear of the water, although I know it's in there somewhere. Right now, I'm more afraid of Haruka. His movements are overly gentle, slow, hypnotic; everything a successful predator should be.

When I'm waist-deep in the water, he stops moving. He swims closer to me, pressing my back gently against the damp wood of the docks. I do nothing to resist him.

 _Makoto_.

Hearing him say my name causes a flood of warm feelings to burst from my chest. He repeats my name many times as he inches closer, gripping the front of my wet shirt with his hands. I swallow a nervous lump in my throat.

"Haruka… Can I… touch you?" I ask him softly. I'm not sure what's happening, but the look in Haruka's eyes is the same as last week. He kissed me then, right before attacking me. His eyes looked lust-filled, but I realize now that lust and hunger may be the same thing for Haruka. At their core, they are both desire. I'm not sure what Haruka is planning right now, but I don't want to leave him. I think I had decided that long before I came here tonight.

Just like before, I feel like there are two people in my head, and I can identify them now: one of them is reason, and the other is desire. Somehow, Haruka has separated these two parts of my psyche, or at least, he'd pitted them against one another. My reason wants me to protect myself, but my desire is to be with Haruka. Do I love him? I certainly feel like I do, but I'm not sure. I want to be with him. I want him to be happy, and to have what he wants.

I want to belong to him.

In response to my question, Haruka presses his chest against mine, purposefully wiggling his tail between my legs, under the water. I hear an added affirmative in my head, and a softer, more pleading clicking coming from his beautiful throat.

An uprush of excitement swells within me. I've been given permission to touch him. That isn't something a predator would offer its prey, is it? Carefully, I bring my hand out of the water and touch the tips of my fingers to the side of his face. The feel of his skin sends electric tremors through my hand and up my arm. His skin feels nothing like a humans, it's cool to the touch and tough, but so incredibly smooth. It's wet not only from the water, but it appears to generate its own moisture in order to keep him hydrated even when he's out of water. It's amazing, and I begin to slowly trace the side of his face with my fingers as he watches me.

Without much warning, Haruka once again pushes his head forward, connecting our mouths. I'm less shocked this time, and I eagerly respond to him. I've thought of our kiss countless times since last week, and I'd by lying if I said I hadn't wanted it to happen again. In a way, I feel like I've given up. Haruka has effectively consumed my thoughts, leaving no room for anything but him. I breathe deeply through my nose as we kiss, inhaling his scent. He smells like salt and deep-sea minerals, and his mouth tastes strongly of the mackerel I brought him. I whimper into his mouth, both of my hands gently brushing the sides of his face, happy to be able to touch him freely. He kisses me fiercely, ravenously, and I'm only partially aware of those sharp teeth tracing my tongue and lips every now and again.

We pull away from each other, and I try and take a moment to catch my breath. Vaguely I wonder how Haruka can be so composed when suddenly I notice the pink slits embedded in his ribcage - his gills - and how wildly they're contracting. It hits me then. He really is a Siren. He isn't human. Haruka isn't human, but I'm making out with him. Is this beastiality? Is there something wrong with me?

Haruka doesn't leave me with much time to consider this.

 _Mate_.

I blink at him. "Wh- what?"

_Makoto. Mate._

My brain is having troubles processing the meaning in Haruka's words. Mate? Does he mean…?

 _I feel hot. Hungry_.

"Haruka… What are you…?"

Taking advantage of my confusion, Haruka drops his gaze and slowly sinks into the water in front of me. I feel a jolt of wild fear as I realize I can no longer see what he's doing or where he is; the water is pitch black, and the night sky is still blotted with clouds, granting very poor moonlight to work with. I press my back hard against the docks, looking around frantically, trying to find him. My stomach is in knots. He mentioned he was hungry. Does that mean…?

A startled yelp catches in my throat when suddenly I feel fingers on my sides. Haruka is tugging my running shorts down, the band of elastic sliding down my hips. In a panic, my hands search around in the water for Haruka's, and I grip them, preventing him from continuing. I'm not sure what he's thinking, but anything involving my pants coming off is probably not going in a direction I can be comfortable with.

I feel something brush against my hip, and a sharp pain suddenly shoots up my body. I can't see, but I'm certain that Haruka has just sunk his teeth into my hip. I yell out and release his hands, moving instead to his head, where my fingers find his hair and try and push his head away. Just like before, my attempts result in Haruka biting down harder, and I feel tears prick behind my eyes. I release him, pulling my hands from the water. In reply, his teeth leave my hip, and I let out a gasp, putting a finger between my teeth for something to bite down on. The freezing water helps to numb the pain, but it still hurts, and it worries me that I'm not even able to see the severity of the wound.

Still, the lesson was learned. I can touch Haruka so long as I'm not interrupting him, or preventing him from doing something. A whole new level of fear sinks into me. I'm safe as long as I don't fight him, is that it?

Under the water, Haruka continues to yank my pants down, and soon I have to lift my feet in order for him to discard them. He allows them to float to the surface, and I feel a strong sense of vulnerability. I may not be able to see through the dark water, but it's almost a certainty that Haruka can. Is he staring at me right now…? Why would he _want_ to? Curiousity? Or…

I jerk involuntarily as something touches my exposed cock. I'm equal parts embarrassed and terrified. My penis has most likely shrunk to a ridiculous scale in this water. More importantly, why is Haruka even messing with it? The wound on my hip still burns, and I can feel more tears welling up at the prospect of him putting those teeth anywhere near my lower regions. What is he planning on doing?

My answer comes in the form of hands firmly seizing my hips and a warm mouth sucking in my flaccid cock. I feel my hips jerk, but I stop myself immediately, too scared to move. Looking down at the water, my mouth agape, I'm in shock. _My cock is in his mouth_. The same mouth that has kissed me and bitten me is now sucking on my cock, slowly and methodically, warm tongue wrapping around my steadily growing length.

My mind becomes fuzzy and in spite of my fear, unwanted pleasure begins to warm my hips and spread to my thighs. I'm still not sure how our mind-connection works, but I try my best to focus words and send them to Haruka.

_Please stop. Please. Please. I don't want this, don't do this!_

I'm not sure whether my words reach him or not, but he gives no indication that he heard me. He continues, still moving slowly and deliberately, his tongue skillfully coiling around the heated flesh of my cock as he drags his mouth up the length and then down to the base.

There's no way it doesn't feel good. It feels amazing, but I wasn't prepared for it. It's humiliating. I never imagined my first sexual experience to be like this, and I'm ashamed at how powerless I feel. I attempt one last time to send him thoughts, but it doesn't appear to have any effect. As a last resort, I put my hand in the water and gently touch his hair, just to convey my hesitance with the situation. I'm careful not to push him or prompt aggression, but even such a small gesture makes him stop in his task and threateningly place the tips of those pointed teeth to the flesh of my cock. I pull my hand away so fast my elbow collides with a wooden beam next to me and I hiss in pain, stifling a sob. Satisfied, Haruka continues. As he works, my pain and fear slowly melt into pleasure and acceptance.

Haruka sucks me in with more vigor, his hands slipping around my hips to my backside. I tense, the feeling of Haruka's slick hands on my ass sending new waves of excitement coursing through me. My face is burning and my heart is pounding as he carefully spreads my cheeks and pushes a finger into me.

A strangled groan escapes my lips. The intruding digit works its way into my ass, and I struggle to relax myself in order to make it more comfortable. I raise my hands over my head and grip the dock for anchorage, my breath coming out in huffs and whines. The sensation of my cock being sucked into a warm mouth surrounded by water is already too much, but the added finger pressing into me is bringing my pleasure to a peak. It's a strange feeling; I've never had something going _into_ me before, but the nature of Haruka's skin makes the process easier. It doesn't feel as unpleasant as I assumed it would, but It feels _full_.

Another finger enters, stretching me wide as he increases the suction around my cock. He's bobbing his head with purpose, licking me earnestly, consuming me all the way to the root with ease. I can feel the head of my cock bouncing off of the back of his throat, and the sensation is throwing me into a mindless state of bliss. My hands are restless but I'm still too afraid to touch him, so I grip my own hair, biting my bottom lip to keep from moaning too loudly.

"Ha- Haruka, I'm… Aaah… Hah… I'm going to…." I feel pressure mounting and I want to warn him, but I don't know if my voice can reach him. As if he understands, Haruka devours me enthusiastically, tongue wrapping around the head of my cock and sliding down to the base, the sides of his mouth closing firmly around me everytime he pulls his head back. I try to hold back but I can't.

With a cry I orgasm, my body jerking, the back of my head smacking against the docks. I can barely feel the pain; I'm still frozen in a twilight of pleasure, tears glossing over my vision, muscles spasming as Haruka greedily sucks up my come. He's sucking me so hard it almost hurts, draining every drop. I'm incredibly embarrassed, but there's nothing I can do. I realize in the aftermath that this is what he wanted. He wanted to taste me.

As I try and steady my breathing, Haruka surfaces, the water cascading from him gorgeously. His eyes are locked on me, just like they always are. He's still swallowing my come, licking his lips.

 _Makoto_. _Mate_.

Oh. I can't believe how slow I've been.

As Haruka swims up next to me, nuzzling his face against my arm, I realize what he means. He's in heat. The only thing that's saved me from being eaten is my ability to relieve Haruka's instinctive desires.

A sick part of me is happy. There's a sense of joy at the prospect of being Haruka's mate, even though I'm more afraid of him than ever. I want to be with him. I'm afraid of him. He'll maim me if I do something wrong, won't he? What will happen to me when he no longer desires sex?

I'll be the fifth victim if I let this continue.

As Haruka nips at my ear and licks my neck, I find it hard to worry about my future safety. I can't refuse him.

I want to belong to Haruka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makoto is pretty much the king of bad decision making atm. 
> 
> Have another chapter. I should really be working on my other fic too, but dammit, I really like Siren!Haru. I like him a lot. ;_;


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto discovers that Haruka has a really good sense of smell. A really, _really_ good sense of smell.

It's been two days since I've seen Haruka. Every hour that goes by without him makes me grow more and more restless.

I told no one about the bite on my hip. At this point, I don't feel like mentioning it would serve any purpose other than embarrassing me. Plus, I have no idea how to explain it away. The wound wasn't as deep as the one on my shoulder; if I had to call it something, I would call it a warning bite. He was warning me to make sure I knew my place.

As I redress the perfectly symmetrical bite mark on my hip, a shudder runs through me. What am I becoming? These bites on my body are proof that Haruka is dangerous. Still, I _need_ to be with him. I've never been addicted to anything, but I imagine it feels a lot like this. I rationalize it by reminding myself that he doesn't know any better, that he's a wild animal, that his instincts are dictating his actions, but I know that I'm just making excuses.

I never expected my first sexual experience to happen that way. I suppose no one would _expect_ mythical creatures to be an option in the first place, but I'm more conflicted about the manner in which it happened. I was powerless, bullied perhaps, but the experience was so intense that I found myself confusing fear for pleasure. The sensations of fear and pain are so common in Haruka's presence that I've almost started to mourn their absence.

I leave the bathroom and stealthily make my way back to my bedroom, hoping not to run into anyone along the way. Two whole days. If Haruka is my addiction, then I'm having withdrawals. I've been trying to fight whatever is in my head, but it feels easier to give in. Haruka is dangerous, certainly, but is it so wrong to be drawn to danger? The water is dangerous, but people insist on swimming and boating and any number of other risky activities. People partake in dangerous sports, document dangerous animals; humans are constantly putting themselves in danger. Am I any different from the rest of them?

My thoughts of this nature are constant and circular. They make my head hurt, and as I lay down in my bed, minding my sore shoulder and hip, I try and force myself to stop thinking. It doesn't work.

.

.

.

Today, Haruka is very interested in my body, but not in the ways he usually is.

It's Sunday, so I was able to visit Haruka earlier than usual. The last light is still lingering on the line of the horizon, and although I was worried about us being spotted so much earlier in the day, no one seems to come around here. I can't help but wonder if Haruka is using some sort of influence to keep everyone away.

I brought him mackerel, which has become the ritual, and just after devouring all of it, Haruka had wanted me to come into the water. I brought my swim trunks this time, hoping to avoid needing to run around for an hour just to return home dry. I was worried about getting my hip wound wet, so I asked if I could sit at the edge of the water. Haruka agreed, and pulled himself halfway out of the water in order to be close to me. My heart fluttered at the gesture.

In the dying light of day, Haruka is even more beautiful. The light glimmers from his wet skin like stardust, and although his eyes don't shine like they ought to in darkness, I can see the depths of that deep blue that I was never able to see before. His fin is even more impressive, slick and lightly scaled, muscular and tough. He allows me to touch it gently as he inspects me.

"Haruka, what are you doing?" I ask with a small smile. I'm not afraid today. I feel I've become good at predicting Haruka's mood and behavior, and I sense no hunger, lust or hostility from him right now. I'm aware that this could change at any moment, but right now Haruka seems curious. He's smelling me, inspecting me closely, and it's making me rather self-conscious.

Haruka doesn't answer me, but I get the feeling its because he doesn't know how to explain what he's doing. His nose is pressed to my collarbone, breathing in deeply, and then he moves his face to my shoulder, the shoulder that is still covered in bandages. I tense only slightly at the memory. Haruka stops, gently touching the bandaging with his fingertips.

 _What is this._ It's so normal to hear Haruka's thoughts at this point I can no longer differentiate them from a normal voice. _It smells strange. I don't like it._

I tilt my head at Haruka. "My bandages?" I ask, and he presses his finger against the white tape holding it on, nodding. "I need them until I heal. Without them, I could get an infection, or open up the wound again." Haruka doesn't seem to understand, and continues to prod the tape with a disapproving gaze. Since I've caught him in such a good mood, I decide to venture asking some questions.

"Do you remember biting me there?" I ask gently. Without hesitation, Haruka nods.

_Yes. I was hungry._

He says it so casually, it's a bit unnerving. I don't think he has a very good grasp of what he did to me, or what kind of pain he subjected me to. He's not human. I can't expect him to understand things like that. If the predator had empathy for the prey, it would be impossible to survive.

Although I'm tempted to ask him if he plans on attacking me again, I refrain. I'm nervous about what the answer might be, and even more nervous about how indifferent I am to it.

"Were you hungry when you sang for the other humans in Iwatobi?" I ask next. Again, Haruka nods apathetically. "You… _Ate_ those people, right?"

_I like this town. Very small. Easy to find food._

I was right. Haruka has hunted before, elsewhere. He must only visit Iwatobi sporadically, to keep his hunting ground spread out.

"Did you… Kiss the others? Like you did with me?" I can feel my face reddening at the question, but it's been on my mind ever since our first encounter. Haruka finally stops fidgeting with my bandages and looks at me, tilting his head. For clarification, I press a finger to my lips. I see his pupils dilate in understanding.

_No. Only food. Didn't smell right._

"Is my smell different somehow?" I ask, surprised. He nods again, and moves his face to my chest, sniffing me deeply. His tongue slides past his lips and glides up my right pectoral, eliciting an involuntary reaction in my swim shorts. Haruka isn't horny, I can tell. He's behaving much like a curious dog, so I just have to endure it and let him do what he wants. I only wish my hormones weren't so demanding.

_Only Makoto smells like Makoto. Compatible._

I'm ashamed at how happy his words make me. I'm compatible with him somehow, when the others weren't. This compatibility saved my life, presumably. Do Sirens mate for life, or is it only until their heat cycle ends? I'm too scared to ask. I'm not ready to relinquish the happiness I feel to the possibility that my status as 'mate' may be suddenly and tragically demoted to 'food'. I make a mental note to ask him about this at a later time, and hope that Haruka isn't currently listening in on my thought process. He doesn't seem to be. He seems too engrossed with his current interest in my body to worry about anything else.

"Is that what you're doing right now? Smelling me because... Because I'm Makoto?"

 _Yes_. Haruka seems pleased that I was able to put it into words for him. _Not just Makoto. I can tell where you've been and who you've met. Lots of smells._

"You must have a really good sense of smell," I remark in admiration. Although I'm impressed, a dull worry settles in my stomach, though I can't place why.

.

.

.

"Can I put my stuff here?" Nagisa dangles his bag over my chair questioningly, and I nod.

"Anywhere is fine. Did you need more pillows?" I ask, brandishing the two pillows I'd pulled from my closet.

"Nope! Two is perfect." Nagisa chirps, sitting down on the floor where I've arranged his futon and blankets.

I chuckle, getting up to walk to my bed, sitting down just on the edge. "It's been a long time since I've had someone sleep over. I almost wonder if we're getting too old for this kind of thing."

"No way!" Nagisa answers adamantly, tossing me one of the game controllers. I grab my glasses from the bedside table as he gets the game started. "You're only too old for it when you start saying you're too old for it!"

"I suppose that's true..."

"Besides- ... _Whoa_ , Mako-chan! What's _that_?"

Nagisa is staring at me with huge eyes, his hands loosely gripping the controller. I don't know how to react to his incredulous stare right away, too confused about what he could be referring to.

"W-what is it? Oh, my glasses? I guess you've never seen me with glasses before, huh?"

"Not _that_!" Nagisa exclaims, grinning, and I finally notice the mischievous glint in his eye. Rather quickly I feel self-conscious under his gaze. " _That_! Is that a _hickey_ I see?"

A rush of panic engulfs me, and I'm positive that a line of fire has spread from my neck to my forehead. A hickey? On _me_? It was true that Haruka spent plenty of time doing... whatever it was he was doing, but I never expected he had left a visible mark. We didn't even kiss today, so I hadn't even thought about it.

"What?" I ask, laughing nervously. A dead giveaway. Nagisa's smile grows wider, and he drops the controller on the bedding and inches closer to the bed. I instinctively clamp a hand over the area of my exposed neck where Haruka had spent the most time licking and sucking, an accidental admission of guilt. Nagisa points at me with a loud and accusing A-HA!

"Mako-chan, you have a girlfriend?" Nagisa implores excitedly, stabbing his elbows into the bed next to me. "Tell me tell me! Does she go to our school?"

"It isn't like that...!" I manage to sputter. Is there really _anything_ I can say in this situation that will help my case? I'm a terrible liar. I'm shocked that I've been able to slip away so often lately without anyone suspecting me.

"She doesn't go to our school?" Nagisa puts a finger to his chin in thought, as if he's attempting to solve some great mystery. "Ooh, is she an upperclassman maybe?" He gasps dramatically. "A college student, maybe?"

Dear lord, I have to stop Nagisa's baseless theories before he starts coming to even worse conclusions. Though I don't think anything can compete with the truth.

"Do you really think I would be dating someone in college?" I ask with an embarrassed chuckle.

"Scandal!" Nagisa teases.

"Its really not a big deal... She's just some girl, its not serious or anything-"

"Not serious? Whoa, Mako-chan, are you stringing some girl along? I wouldn't have expected that of you!"

"That's not what I meant!" I say, flustered. Nagisa levels me a devious grin.

"Hmm... If Mako-chan won't talk, I may have to use other methods to discover the identity of the mysterious girlfriend!"

Another wave of panic hits me, but this time its different. My rational self reminds me that Nagisa is most likely exaggerating, but just the _idea_ of Nagisa seeking Haruka out somehow... Haruka would kill him, wouldn't he?

My hands are grabbing Nagisa's shoulders before I can stop myself. "No!" I practically shout, and the smile on Nagisa's face is swept away and replaced with wide-eyed surprise. I immediately realize my outburst, and I lessen the grip on Nagisa, offering him a half-hearted smile. "Sorry… It's just… Uhh…" My mind works double time to try and think of something believable. I hate that I'm in a position where lying is my best option, but it's too late for anything else. "I've been keeping it a secret because her parents don't want her dating anyone, and they would be really mad if they found out."

Nagisa relaxes a bit, his smile returning. "Oh, wow. That's sucks!" His expression becomes slightly apologetic. "Mako-chan, I wasn't _really_ going to try and find out who she was-"

"I know," I laugh, trying to play it off as best I can. "It's okay, we've been friends for a while, so I don't mind telling you."

"Still, that's pretty cool! It's like Romeo and Juliet or something!"

"I hope not, because that ended in both of them dying," I point out uneasily.

"You know what I mean!" Nagisa chortles, hopping up onto my bed and crossing his legs, looking at me expectantly. "Okay, so you want to keep her identity a secret, I get that. Can we at least play twenty questions?"

Oh, god. I should probably say no. "Sure, I guess it couldn't hurt." I would smack myself, but that would only arouse suspicion.

"Okay!" Nagisa glides his tongue over his upper lip, staring at the ceiling in thought. I squirm uncomfortably, waiting for the next lie I'm going to have to tell.

"Does she go to our school?" Nagisa asks.

"No," I reply without thinking. I feel strangely okay with that answer. Maybe it was because it wasn't really a lie?

"Where did you meet her, then?"

I think about my answer a little more carefully this time. "I met her when I was out for a run." I pause. "I saw her down by the water."

"Romantic!" Nagisa chimes. "Was it love at first sight, Mako-chan?" His tone is teasing, but I don't catch it right away.

"I think so," I say, a little too dreamily. Nagisa looks delighted.

"Seriously? You're in love with her?" Nagisa throws his arms in the air and falls backward onto my bed, his legs still crossed. "Waaahh, I'm jealous!"

I can't help but chuckle. "Is there someone you're interested in, Nagisa?"

"Huh?" Nagisa manages to look at me from his awkward position with large eyes. "Me?"

I nod. Nagisa struggles for a moment to right himself, his fluffy blonde hair mussed from my comforter. "Not really. But I just think it would be really great to find the one you're meant to be with!"

 _The one_. When people say that, they're referring to the person that they're going to spend the rest of their life with. It strikes me that I've never thoroughly thought about finding 'the one' before, but I know I've had fleeting thoughts. I always thought it would be a girl, maybe someone outgoing enough to drag me out of my shell, full of light and laughter. After college we would get married and have a couple of children, if she desired them. It wasn't exactly an iron-clad plan, it was just a general idea, an assumption of the direction life was meant to go. Now, I can't imagine anyone other than Haruka. I hadn't even considered it until this moment.

What kind of life can I have with Haruka? Assuming I survive long enough to have a life beyond high school, what then? What kind of relationship can I expect? There will be no marriage, no dating, no exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve or kissing on the New Year. I can't even introduce him to my friends. Haruka doesn't understand any of those things, and I would never dream of forcing them on him. We're not even of the same species. That I'm even allowing us to continue any kind of a relationship would be considered an abomination of nature by the rest of the world.

I don't even know where he spends most of his time. We always meet down by those rickety docks, but that can't be where he lives, right? Does he have a proper home, or does he just move around all the time? The ocean is an unpredictable, dangerous place… What if Haruka didn't come back one day? How would I ever know what happened to him? It isn't as if I can call him or ask his family members… What sort of assurance do I even have that we can stay together?

"Mako-chan?"

Nagisa's voice pulls me out of anxious thoughts. I must have been zoning out pretty badly for him to take notice.

"Sorry," I say, a bit flustered. "Got kinda lost in thought, there…"

Nagisa's curious expression pulls into a shrewd smile. "Thinking about her? Mako-chan, I can't believe I didn't notice earlier! You are seriously in love!"

Love? Am I?

Am I really in love with Haruka?

"Don't worry!" Nagisa firmly presses a finger against his smirking mouth. "I promise, I won't tell anyone about your forbidden romance. But just remember to come to me with all the juicy details, okay?"

I smile. Nagisa really is a good friend. Although, I'm not so sure he would still be so supportive if he knew the truth.

"Thanks, Nagisa."

.

.

.

I head to the docks later than usual. It's the first time I've ever snuck out of the house, so I'm understandably nervous.

I was drawing pictures with my siblings until late after dinner, and by the time they fell asleep, it was too late to go running. My parents insisted I do my homework and then get to bed. There wasn't much I could say to deter them, so I relented and finished my homework, somehow. I could barely focus on the words I was reading. When everyone was asleep, I pulled on my swim trunks under my clothes, grabbed my bag, a mackerel from the fridge (I've been stocking up. When my mother asked about the sudden increase in mackerel, I added a tally to the Lie List and told her it was for my training regimen.) and slipped out of the house.

The air is humid tonight, and there's a slight drizzle in the air. I almost wish I'd brought my umbrella, but it really doesn't matter since I'll more than likely be pulled into the water by Haruka anyway.

The moon is highest in the sky when Haruka emerges. He appears much faster than usual; I wonder if he was actually waiting for me? He slowly and carefully raises his head above the water, watching me closely with his bright eyes. I greet him with a smile.

"Hello, Haruka."

He swims nearer to me, his hand brushing against my submerged ankle.

"I'm sorry I'm so late tonight… I couldn't get away until everyone fell asleep. You weren't waiting, were you?"

Haruka doesn't answer, but I'm used to that by now. He pulls himself out of the water just enough to latch himself onto my side and begins his ritual of smelling me. I'm content to let him do it for as long as he wishes, but I'm a little surprised that he's not saying anything. Usually by now he's said a thing or two, or he's inquiring about fish. Tonight he seems like he's fixated with something, but I don't know what it is.

He suddenly pushes his head against my chest and inhales deeply. The action is sharp and I'm unable to stop myself from flinching.

"Ah… Sorry, Haruka, you surprised me a bit…"

Haruka pulls away from me and looks me squarely in the eyes. There's something wrong, although I can't tell what. I want to stroke his hair to sooth him, but I'm not sure if that's a safe gesture at the moment.

"Haruka? What is it?"

_I smell someone who is not Makoto._

"Huh?" I'm not really sure what he means by that. I assume if his sense of smell is good enough, he can smell practically _anyone_ I interact with. "I don't-"

I look down as I realize. This was the shirt that I let Nagisa wear the night before last, when he spent the night. He forgot his own, so it was only natural. It was enormous on him, but regardless, he'd worn it to sleep.

"Oh!" I laugh a little, but Haruka doesn't move, watching me with a piercing gaze. "You really do have a great sense of smell, don't you? My friend was wearing this the other day. He spent the night. We played video games until we fell asleep. Oh, that's right, do you know what video games are, Haruka?"

 _Explain spent the night._ Haruka says, still as stone. His refusal to move an inch paired with his locked stare have me feeling nervous.

"Well, let's see… It's something that humans do sometimes, when they're friends. One or the other will spend the night at the others house, and do things like study, eat snacks, play games, watch movies, or just talk."

_Why?_

I roll my eyes upward in thought. "Uhh… You know, I don't really know? Now that I'm explaining it, it seems a little weird…"

 _I don't like it._ Haruka says, and even in my head I can hear a hint of resentment. _Don't do it anymore._

"Wuh- What?" I'm a bit taken aback by his words. Could it be that Haruka is jealous? Can he even _feel_ jealousy? I remember watching a documentary about canine emotions a long time ago, and I learned that dogs can't feel jealousy, instead they feel possessiveness, which often mimics jealousy. If Haruka's behavior is more similar to an animal than a human, then…

Possessiveness?

Suddenly his behavior makes sense. Smelling me every time we see each other wasn't just a quirky hobby Haruka was doing to pass the time. This is his version of checking up on me. He smells me to see who I've been with, where I've been, what I've seen. That's right. I'm his mate. He said so, but I never thought more about the implications.

"Haruka, it's okay, I promise. He's just a friend, if that's what you're worried about…" Haruka's expression darkens, only minimally. I feel a familiar fear reemerging. "It's just something that humans do sometimes, it doesn't mean anything."

I hope that if I explain gently enough, Haruka will understand. I have to be patient with him, and try and understand his feelings. He's not human, so these kinds of things are difficult for him.

Before I realize what's happening, I'm on my back in the sand. Haruka is holding down my shoulders, pushing me hard into the ground. He's looking down at me with a calm expression, eyes lit up more than usual, mouth forming a thin line. His fingers are digging into my wounded shoulder, and I feel a sharp sting where his nails are making contact with the stitches under the bandage. I hiss in pain, a soft sob escaping my throat.

"Haru-"

Faster than I can blink, Haruka's mouth opens, sharp teeth exposed, and he dives for my neck. I black out for a fraction of a second. I'm pretty sure my brain thought I was dead and attempted to shut everything down before I could feel the pain.

Instead of the excruciating sensation of Haruka ripping out my jugular, I feel the tips of his teeth on my neck, holding me down with the threat of biting. My heart is racing and my breath is stuck somewhere in my throat, making it impossible to breathe properly.

"Ha- Haruka…! Please-"

_I could kill you right now._

Haruka's words are louder and more imposing than usual, spreading from one end of my consciousness to the other. I place a hand on his chest for some semblance of security, but it only makes him press his teeth harder against me. I let go of another sob, which only causes his teeth to find more anchorage.

I swallow, and immediately cringe in pain. Any movement from my neck results in Haruka's teeth getting closer to digging into me. Carefully, I try and talk.

"Haah… Haruka… I'm s- sorry, please… It's only you… I prom-"

I hear a strange growl emit from Haruka, and he tightens his jaw just enough to ensure my silence. I try my best to stay completely still as I feel hot tears sliding along my cheekbones.

_I'll kill your friend if you do it again. All I need is his scent._

I gasp for air, unable to see for the tears clouding over my vision. A whole new kind of fear washes over me. I've been putting myself in danger knowingly, but bringing Nagisa into it scares me more than anything else. If something happened to him, it would be my fault… _My_ fault...

"Puh- _Please_ , Haruka, you're the… O-only one I want…!" I gasp the words out, expecting Haruka to continue to apply pressure. Instead, I slowly feel his teeth leave my throat, and I roll over onto my side, coughing. When I look back at him, he's staring at me, head tilted, eyes dilated. His tail flops in the water rhythmically.

My hand circles around my neck, checking for abrasions. I can feel indents where his teeth were, but I don't feel any open wounds. _Thank god_. I was able to hide the bite on my hip, but I'm not sure how in the world I could explain away something so conspicuous on my neck.

_Makoto._

Haruka has returned to the water, moving languidly, hypnotizingly.

 _Come here_.

He holds out his hand for me, and for the first time, I hesitate. I want to go to him, but I'm more afraid of him now than I've ever been. His mood is hard to read at the moment. I think to apologize again, but my voice doesn't seem to want to work.

I hesitate for one second too long. A sweet song fills the air around me, and I'm equal parts terrified and ecstatic to hear it. The last time I heard his song was the night we met, but since then, Haruka hasn't seen fit to sing for me again. It's because I've never hesitated to come closer to him since then. I've been obedient.

I feel the invisible strings take hold of me, and I'm standing up and walking into the water. He takes my hand and brings me closer, the water sloshing around my torso and shoulders. For a moment I fear that he's going to take me all the way under, but he stops me there and presses our mouths together. His kisses are frenzied and heated, and I melt into the kiss, accepting it. I'm not sure how much of me is being controlled and how much is my own free will, but it feels like the two have begun to intermingle. My hands slip over his shoulders and wrap around his neck, trying to apologize to him with my mouth and tongue. I'm not sure if it's working, but he's grinding his tail against me, and through the fear I can feel the beginnings of arousal.

Beating his tail gently, Haruka pulls both of us back under the docks. His back bumps into a wooden post, and he pulls away from me, his expression lewd, eyes glowing fiercely in the darkness. He traces my lips tauntingly with his tongue, and I shudder.

_Makoto. I want you inside of me._

I feel my eyes shoot open, and my breath stops. All the blood in my brain speeds immediately to my cock.

"Haruka….?"

Haruka's throat makes that alluring clicking sound again, and his fingers are slipping under the hem of my swim shorts, tugging them down. I know better than to try and stop him. My heart is pounding furiously as he discards my shorts, his hand wrapping around my cock and pumping it methodically. Does he mean sex? Actual penetration? I realize that Haruka chose me as his mate, but I thought perhaps just doing certain sexual acts that we were anatomically able to perform was enough. He expects me to…? Is that even possible?

My concern must be apparent, because Haruka is staring at me impatiently. I try and voice what I'm thinking.

"Is that… Is that okay? I don't want to hurt you…"

Haruka tilts his head at me, pupils blown wide. _It's okay._ He continues to stroke me, helping me to maintain an erection in the cold water. I feel conflicted. I never imagined my first time to be like this, but then again, I would be insane if I had. I want Haruka. I love him. Even so, I'm unsure about what we're about to do. Making love to a Siren… I'm lightheaded at the prospect.

As if to comfort me, Haruka kisses me again, slowly and more earnestly than before. As our mouths move together, so similar in shape and sensation, I have a hard time remembering what's right and wrong. Haruka wants me. Even if I truly wanted to, how can I refuse him?

Haruka pulls away and turns, placing his hands on the wooden beam. He looks back at me, eyes shining with lust, arching his back and pointing his rear at me. Even through the darkness, I can make out a slit in the curve of his scaled rump.

_Touch me._

I'm positive that my heart has moved into my ears, pounding so loudly that I can no longer hear anything but Haruka's voice. I've gotten permission to touch him, but… I'm barely sure how homosexual sex works, let alone sex with a fish man. Don't we need lube? What about condoms? Aren't those things important?

Haruka desperately wiggles his tail at me, looking back at me with a pleading expression. My heart melts. I've never seen him so vulnerable. Instead of trying to overpower me, he's begging me to make love to him, trusting me completely with his safety. _Trust_. Does this mean he trusts me? Or is this some kind of trick?

Either way, it doesn't change my feelings. My throat incredibly dry, I extend a hand and gently slide my finger over the slit. The change in Haruka is immediate and intense; as if I had shocked him with electricity, Haruka's body jolts and he tosses his head back, letting out a quiet, gasping moan. I stare at him with wide eyes, frozen. I barely touched him, and yet… My chest tightens, and I want to embrace him but I refrain. I'm happy that I'm able to give him pleasure, and I once again gently press my finger to the slick slit, tracing the outline of it with my finger. The response is the same, intensified; Haruka lets loose a string of clicks, moans and sobs, his body trembling. My face is on fire seeing Haruka in this disheveled state.

 _Inside… Hot… Please…_ Even the voice I hear in my head is messy and desperate.

More confident, I step closer to Haruka, the cold water stopping just above my belly button. One of my hands splays itself over Haruka's chest as my other hand smooths over his rump, slipping a finger inside of him. Haruka emits a low groan of satisfaction, pressing his forehead against the wooden beam. I'm immediately surprised by the sensation I'm met with. Haruka is hot and wet, not unlike a mouth greedily sucking my fingers in. I think to pull my finger out until I imagine how Haruka may react. It's not that I'm disgusted; in fact, I'm alarmingly turned on. Five minutes ago I couldn't imagine having sex with a Siren, and now I'm harder than I ever remember being. If anything, I'm scared of the difference in our anatomy. Haruka's entrance is nothing like a humans. The idea of hurting him turns my stomach upside down. But if Haruka says its alright…

I work my finger inside of him, marveling at the power of the inner muscles that roll against my digit.

Haruka squirms into me, pushing my finger farther into him. I slide a second finger into the pink depths, listening to the musical sounds Haruka is producing. He's unbelievably beautiful from this angle, and I can't resist kissing the dip of his lower back as I continue to work myself in.

 _Makoto's cock... Put it in, please_...

I suppose my fingers are serving no real purpose other than building Haruka up even more. He's more than ready, and denying him any longer would be cruel to us both.

I try not to think too hard about what I'm doing as I position myself over Haruka's entrance. I grip his hips firmly as I ease myself in, the warm tightness closing around my dick sending my brain into a state of wordless bliss. Haruka makes a sound I've never heard before, almost like a musical keen, the single most beautiful sound I've ever heard. He's sucking me in without a problem, and soon I find the clarity of mind to move, sinking myself in even deeper.

I groan low in my throat, the sensation too incredible for words. Haruka is shaking and twitching under my fingertips, an incoherent mess of pleasure. Seeing him like this is tipping me quickly over the edge, but I try and steel myself. I want to give this pleasure to Haruka. I want to show him that no one else matters to me. I want my feelings to get through to him in a way that translates. Perhaps that's why he initiated this, as a way of getting me to prove myself to him. I don't care what his reasons are, I'll oblige him. Talking to Nagisa the other night made me realize that I want to be with him no matter what, even if it means I am forever barred from having a normal relationship.

"Haruka..." My breath is short and rough. Haruka rotates his torso just enough to sling an arm around my neck and pull me in for a deep kiss, pushing himself against me, burying my cock inside of him to the root. The forced penetration causes a flood of pleasure to pool in my stomach, making my hips weak and tingly. I moan into his mouth, licking his tongue, and together we find a powerful rhythm.

_I won't allow Makoto to leave… I'm the only one that Makoto can touch._

I could swear that the mental connection has gotten stronger in the last few minutes. Is it because our bodies are also connected?

"I… _Nng_... Haah… I only want Haruka… Only you… _Aahh…_ "

The water splashes in between our bodies with every thrust. I'm holding Haruka up, pounding into him with mindless abandon, my hands sliding up his chest past his gills to rub against his nipples. They must be as sensitive as the rest of him, because the contact causes Haruka to cry out, the most human sound I've heard him make yet.

"I love you… Haruka, I love you… _I love you_..."

I feel like I've lost my mind. I'm already becoming addicted to the feeling of being inside of Haruka, of touching him, of losing myself in him. Without thinking, I place my teeth against his shoulder blade and give him a firm bite; I feel Haruka's insides close around me tightly, clamping down so firmly around my cock that pleasure and pain become confused with one another. I groan and bite him again. One of his hands reaches back and grabs a fistful of my hair, pleading for more. I'm reaching my limit. I wonder if Haruka is close, but judging from the sounds he's making and the desperate way he's grinding in time with my thrusts, I would assume we're both teetering on the edge of release.

I try to warn Haruka that I'm about to come, but it's too late. I try and pull out, but Haruka clamps down on me harder than ever. He knows. With a cry I'm coming, the orgasm breaking me apart at the seams and causing water to gather behind my closed eyes. I press my forehead into Haruka's back, holding him for dear life, feeling his own body wracked with tremors. Did he come, too? For that matter, does Haruka _have_ a penis? I haven't seen it, and he's been facing away from me this whole time…

The two of us are frozen in post-climax bliss for what seems like an eternity. When finally my muscles relax, I breathe deeply as if I've just come up for air. Haruka slumps against me, and I can feel his chest heaving, his gills oxygen deprived.

"I… I didn't… Hurt you, did I?" I ask, concerned. Haruka squirms against me teasingly for a moment before pulling away, my softening cock sliding out of him easily. He turns to me and plants a cold kiss on my lips.

 _You can't hurt me._ he replies.

I'm not sure how to answer, so I stay silent and let him kiss me. Somehow, his bad mood seems to have passed.

.

.

.

On my way to school, I'm in a fog.

After our time together at the docks, I headed home as the sun was peeking on the horizon. I managed to sneak back in successfully, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't sleep. The memory of everything that had happened was playing in my brain like a movie on a giant screen; no matter where I looked, it was there, if only in sections. I felt, and still feel, conflicted. My affection for Haruka has grown ten-fold, and although I know it's wrong, I can't help but want to have sex with him again.

My Reason hasn't faded, however, and I'm aware that things are getting incredibly dangerous. Haruka threatened my life last night. I'm trying to keep hold of that thought and push Desire out of my thoughts long enough to shine some clarity on the situation, but it's getting harder and harder every day. More often than not, I find myself thinking that it wouldn't be so bad to be killed by Haruka. My willingness to die is more terrifying than Haruka's ability to kill me.

Every time I try and think of ways to escape my situation, I immediately shoot myself down. I want to be with Haruka. That's what I keep coming back to. No matter what, I want that more than anything.

"Mako-chan?"

I hear Nagisa's voice, and I look up, perhaps a bit sluggishly. I'm standing just outside the front gates of the school, and I'm fairly sure I had been staring at the ground. My face burns in embarrassment. How long had I been standing there?

"Ah, Nagisa," I say, forcing a smile, "Good morning."

"You look like a zombie, Mako-chan!" Nagisa says with a laugh. "You okay?"

I will my feet to move, and Nagisa matches my pace as we walk through the gate and up to the school together.

"I'm fine," I lie, and as to betray me, my mouth stretches in an enormous yawn. "I guess I didn't get enough sleep last night," I admit.

Nagisa smiles. "You either? I swear, I feel like I didn't sleep _at all._ That story you told me about the creepy song dream must have stuck with me, because I had the same exact dream. I could hear a song coming in through my window, and it kept waking me up!"

I stop walking. The bottom of my stomach ices over, and I feel what little color is left in my face drain.

"You… Dreamt you heard a song?" I ask, my voice barely coming out. Nagisa stops ahead of me, looking back in surprise.

"Yeah, like the one you had." Nagisa surveys my dumbstruck expression and giggles. "Come on, Mako-chan, it's fine! After all, _you_ had a dream about hearing it, and nothing bad happened to you, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it would get weird (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
> 
> next chapter is going to be even weirder, and it's gonna get very non-con


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto tries to ensure Nagisa's safety. It doesn't go over very well.

I can't settle down.

Time has undoubtedly slowed to a snail's pace, making this school day the longest few hours of my entire life. I can't stop staring at the clock, watching the minutes tick by with excruciating sluggishness.

Hakura sang for Nagisa last night. There's no way its a coincidence. After Nagisa had left for class, I tried to convince myself that perhaps he really _did_ have a dream about it, but I can't accept that. It's too well-timed.

I know that Haruka had been upset about Nagisa last night, but after everything that transpired afterwards, I felt sure that Haruka had forgiven me and forgotten about it. Did I do a poor job of making him understand? Even after we made love, is he worried? It doesn't matter. I have to talk to Haruka, I have to make sure he doesn't do anything to Nagisa. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to him.

As soon as the school day ends, I'm rushing out the front doors, forsaking club obligations. I already apologized to the track captain for having to miss practice today at lunch, so I'm covered. My only thought right now is to head to the docks and pray that no one else is down there for any reason. I've never met with Haruka so early, and I'm nearly certain that he's nocturnal, but I have to try.

This closed-off corner of the beach doesn't seem to be very popular, and whether that's because of Haruka or simply because its unattractive and out of the way is up for speculation. Winded, I set my bag down once I reach the docks and take a moment to catch my breath. The water is calm, nothing stirring under the surface, and since I don't have fish with me today, I'm not entirely certain how to coax Haruka out.

I call for him. After several minutes of stillness, I try again. I try and focus my thoughts and send them to Haruka. I still don't know how that process works, or if Haruka can even sync with my thoughts so far away. Either way, I get no response, and I leave the docks feeling nervous and dejected.

I text Nagisa as soon as I return home. I'm not entirely sure what to say to him, so I spout some nonsense about homework, prompting a conversation. After the third or fourth text, I make Nagisa promise to tell me the instant he 'dreams' about the song again, no matter what time, day or night. His reply is peppered with amused emojis, but he agrees. I can tell he really isn't worried about it. It's because he doesn't know.

It's impossible for me to focus on anything for the remainder of the evening. I keep my phone next to me even at the dinner table, glancing at it so often that my mother makes a good-natured joke about waiting for a text from a girl. I'm so numb to lying by now, I actually smile to confirm her assumption, and the rest of our time at the dinner table is spent listening to my family speculate on who I'm crushing on.

Just after dinner I manage to slip out to go for my run, grabbing my bag but too distracted to remember the mackerel.

The sun is low in the sky when I arrive, and I toss my bag down, looking expectantly toward the water. Will Haruka even show up tonight? If he's really luring Nagisa, is he doing it because he's cross with me? Maybe he would rather not see me at all. It doesn't matter either way. I'm determined to wait until he shows himself. I refuse to leave until I can ensure Nagisa's safety and get this whole mess sorted out.

Moonlight floods the beach by the time Haruka emerges. Upon seeing him, I suddenly find it difficult to remember why I'm so anxious, but I force myself to stay focused.

"Haruka! You're here already. I'm glad." Starting off talking about it is probably not the best approach. Still, I think he knows. Haruka is staring me down from the water, still as stone.

_No fish._

I sit myself down just at the edge of the water, letting my legs dip into the cool water. "No, I didn't bring any tonight. Haruka, I need to talk to you about something. It's important. Is that okay?"

Haruka makes no indication one way or another. I can see him coming nearer to the shore, closer to where I'm sitting. The rush of fear that jolts through me has become so second nature I don't even react. Taking his silence as permission to continue, I clear my throat.

"Haruka, did you sing for my friend last night?"

The silence in my head rings loudly. Waiting for Haruka's responses are always nerve-wracking, but tonight I'm especially anxious. After some time, Haruka looks away from me. It almost looks like he's frowning.

_I'm hungry. It doesn't matter which human._

I'm honestly surprised to receive such a straightforward answer. I was expecting him to skirt the subject, at least.

"Haruka... _Please_ , don't sing for him again." I say. "Don't I bring you enough fish? I can bring you more, if you want. Or different kinds, if you're getting tired of mackerel. But you _have_ to leave the people of Iwatobi alone."

_Why?_

Haruka's rebuttal is quick and sharp, and he's staring at me again, almost angrily. I shrink under his gaze, but I manage to hold my ground. This is something I won't shake on. The safety of my family and friends is my absolute top priority.

"Because it isn't right," I say gently. "Eating humans is just... It's _wrong_. If you have enough to eat, there shouldn't be any reason to hunt for humans, right?"

Surprisingly, Haruka pulls himself up onto land and pulls himself over to me, leaning against my legs. I've never seen him do something so casual before, and I never would have expected it to happen while he was getting reprimanded.

_I like human meat. Its the best for me._

A shudder runs through me. Talking about something so offhandedly...

"The best? Does that mean that you _need_ to eat humans, Haruka? Is living on fish not enough?"

Haruka nuzzles against my shoulder. I have a feeling he's trying to distract me. Its working, truthfully.

_Makoto. I feel hot._

I know what that translates to, and not two seconds after he's said it, my heart is pumping in my ears and sending urgent signals to my groin. Still, I try and regain some semblance of clarity. The subject at hand is important and needs to be addressed, even as Haruka kisses heatedly along my collarbone.

"Haruka, focus. I need you to _promise_ me that you won't do anything bad to Nagisa. I told you already, didn't I? That you're the only one I need?"

Haruka stops kissing me, leaving his lips brushing lightly over my neck. His breath is hot.

_If that's true, why does it matter if I kill him?_

My insides turn to ice. How can I possibly answer that in a way he can understand? His teeth are inches away from my skin, and I'm intimately aware of the way his muscles are tensed, ready to snap at a moment's notice. I try and steel myself and think logically.

"Did you ever have any friends, or someone you liked to talk to or spend time with? Anyone like you? Maybe you knew them when you were younger, or you just met them out of the blue?"

Haruka raises his head to stare at me. I'm relieved because it really looks like he's thinking about it.

_My kind attack each other when they see each other. We live alone and we hunt alone. It's strange for us to mingle for any reason other than mating._

So he really doesn't understand, then. From Haruka's point of view, the only reason I should be spending time with another human is for mating purposes.

"Why do you attack each other? Wouldn't it be better to get along?"

_Territory is important. Safe hunting ground is rare._

I frown. "So, you all stay spread out and away from each other? Does that mean there are others like you in other places, hunting humans?"

Haruka's tail flops casually in the water. _Japan is a popular area. Surrounded by water and high suicide rates. I don't know where else the others go, but I know there are several in Japan._

I feel like I just learned something I wasn't supposed to know. It's hard to believe what he's telling me. There are… _More_ of them? Living around Japan? He mentioned suicide rates… Does that mean that many of the suicides in Japan have actually been Siren attacks?

I try and push that thought away for the moment. I have to try and make Haruka understand. "Well, humans aren't like that. We're social. We live close to each other, we work together, and we live together, too. So it's not strange for us to have friendships where we spend time together. Do you understand?" I talk to him gently, sweetly, trying my best to keep him calm.

_Humans kill each other. I've seen it. They are violent. They would be better off staying away from each other._

I worry my bottom lip. "Not _all_ humans are like that, Haruka. Most of them just want to get along with everyone. Nagisa is very nice, and he's never hurt anyone in his life. So you really can't hurt him, okay? Please promise me you'll leave him alone?" Haruka levels me an emotionless stare.

_Makoto. I don't want to talk anymore. I feel hot._

Haruka is kissing me again, more aggressively, really trying to evoke a reaction from me. His hand travels down my stomach to my groin, where he seeks my semi-hard dick through the fabric. My breathing hitches. He's turning me on, but mentally I'm not in the mood. Especially now that I'm burdened with this new alarming information concerning Japan.

" _Ahh…_ "

His hand is gently fondling my cock, slowly coaxing it to life. I put my hands on his shoulders but lack the conviction to push him away.

"Haruka… I… _haah…_ I want you to promise… don't hurt Nagisa, you have to promise me…"

_I want you to look only at me._

A gasp escapes my lips as Haruka grabs me more roughly, pushing me down onto my back. I let him lead without resisting, but it's difficult.

"I… told you… I only love you, Haruka… I only look at you…!"

Haruka pulls away from my neck and looks down at me, eyes shining brilliantly and locked onto my face with purpose. My mouth opens but no sound comes out. He's unspeakably beautiful. I can't even express in words how gorgeous he is, and I don't try. I can see my face reflected in his eyes, and in a moment I realize how he feels. If anyone else were to be reflected in his eyes, anyone but me, I don't know how I'd feel. I'd do anything to ensure that he could be mine, and mine alone. Still… I can't let him hurt Nagisa. I have to make him understand that Nagisa isn't a threat, or anyone else, for that matter.

"Haruka…" I reach up to touch his face. He allows it, and my slightly trembling fingers trace the side of his face. "What do I have to do to prove that I'm yours?"

He doesn't answer. Instead, I'm finding myself focused on his eyes. They're changing. It's subtle, but I can see it clearly enough. His pupils are contracting violently, blown open one moment and narrowed to slits the next. I've never seen them do this before, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't disconcerting.

"Haruka? Are you-"

I'm abruptly cut off by Haruka's mouth, which seizes mine in a fierce kiss. I relent to it, his tongue aggressively shoving into my mouth and licking me in earnest. I moan into his mouth, my hands still anchored on his wet shoulders, wondering what he's thinking. His eyes… They looked strange. Could it be I've never seen his eyes when he was aroused? He's obviously horny, but somehow, I feel like something's different.

He seeks out my cock again, this time slipping under the hem of my shorts and grasping me. I arch my back, accidentally bucking into his hand, and he rewards me with a firm stroke. I moan again, feeling him press against me. My eyes snap open when I feel something slick bump into my thigh.

Haruka pulls away from the kiss. My face burns in embarrassment as I witness a string of saliva connect our mouths. I hardly have time to dwell on that before I see something twitch around Haruka's groin area. My eyes trail down the length of his torso and come to rest on something large and imposing that wasn't there before. My eyes widen in realization.

It's Haruka's dick.

My throat is dry as I watch the organ push it's way out from between two previously unnoticable flaps of skin nestled in the V of Haruka's crotch. Haruka's pupils are still dilating madly, and now I can see why. He has different stages of arousal. This is a stage I've never seen before.

I watch in horrified awe as Haruka's cock emerges, finally at full length, bobbing now and then and shining with some sort of glossy, wet substance. Haruka lets out a breath, as if producing the organ was taxing, which I imagine it was. It's big. No, it's bigger than big. I've never seen a cock this large, although I can't say I have much to compare it to. I'm not exactly an expert on the matter, but I can barely imagine putting even my mouth around it.

It looks startlingly different from a human's. This shouldn't be a surprise to me by this point, but I can't help but be shocked at its appearance. It's largest at the base, heavy looking, and he's lacking testicals entirely. The shaft becomes more narrow toward the tip, and the head is smooth. A line runs up the length, giving it the appearance of being two cocks melded together. It's a darker color than Haruka's skin - a deep, translucent blue - flushed at the tip and dribbling what I can only assume is some form of precum.

I'm startled back to reality by a clicking from deep within Haruka's throat, and a low growl. I look back at Haruka's face, and I feel the blood drain from mine. He's not looking into my eyes anymore. His eyes are wide, staring blankly at the sand, wilder than I've ever seen them. His breath is rough, his gills opening and closing as if he'd just swam a mile at full speed. He barely looks like he knows where he is. My heart is in my throat, beating out of control.

"Ha- Haruka…?"

My voice elicits only a small reaction. It almost seems like he forgot I was here and was suddenly reminded, his eyes sweeping up to find mine again. The recognition is different. Even in the darkness, I can see his cock twitch again. My fear intensifies.

"Haru-"

I'm grabbed roughly by the arm and I'm turned over, Haruka shoving my chest hard into the ground. Instinctively I struggle against him, trying to twist myself back around into a more comfortable position, but he pushes me down and pulls my arm behind my back, straining my wounded shoulder. I let out a pained yelp, my other arm grasping at the ground for support.

"Wha- _urk-_ Haruka, what are you doing? Stop…!"

An incredible weight from behind pushes me even harder into the ground, my hips enduring the majority of it. I grunt in discomfort, trying to wiggle free of Haruka's grip. It proves useless. I feel something slide against my backside, through my swim shorts. I didn't stare at it for very long, but I know exactly what it is, and my heart stops. Is he…? That huge thing?

"Haruka…! H-hold on a minute, just wait-"

Either Haruka is ignoring me or he can't hear me right now, I'm not sure which. His free hand grasps the hem of my shorts and yanks them down. Our positions make the process difficult, and so Haruka pulls them down around my knees and then abandons them there. My face is burning in humiliation. I'm exposed to him, completely exposed to the world on this small stretch of sand. I pray more than I ever have that no one happens to wander by.

Something warm and wet presses itself against my ass, and I can feel him lining himself up with my entrance. A wild jolt of panic courses through me, and a new wave of strength rises up. I manage to get my arm out of his grip and try my best to turn around, but Haruka holds me down by my shoulders. Tears gather behind my eyes. No, no, _no…_ Not like this, please not like this! I hate this! The idea of that thing going inside me while I'm powerless to do anything is a whole new level of terrifying. It isn't as if I was against the idea of having sex with Haruka while being on the receiving end. Haruka looked like he enjoyed our first time, so I imagined that every time would be similar. We would be careful, there would be time to prepare me before… Before…

"Haruka…! _Please_!" I'm ashamed at how my voice cracks. "Just let me get up! Give me a minute…!"

_You are mine._

Haruka's voice sounds odd. I can't tell if he's angry or not, but something's off. It's so different from before, when he was begging and pleading with me to give him pleasure. This is another side to Haruka, another side to his arousal. He's dominating me. He's claiming territory. It isn't about sex or pleasure. It's about making me his, molding my body to his shape so that I can't ever forget who I belong to.

He lines himself up again, and I claw at the ground, panic rising in the form of bile that's threatening me with sickness. I'm shouting pleas at him, begging for him not to do what I know he's going to do anyway, but I may as well be talking to myself. I feel the smooth, slick tip of his cock push into me, bypassing the tight ring of muscle. My breath catches in my throat, and my mouth opens in a silent cry. It feels so full already, so invasive, so different from his fingers. My hands grab handfuls of sand and dirt, and Haruka forces my shoulders harder into the ground as he eases himself inside me.

It's hard to breathe. Every time I think that no more can possibly fit, more slides in. My insides are burning, my inner walls stretching to accommodate the alien appendage, and the pain is unbearable. My only solace is the copious amount of slimy substance that his cock seems to secrete; without it, I can't even imagine how I would be managing.

Hot tears slide down my cheeks, wetting the sand under my face. I can't see anything from my position. Moving my head is impossible, and even if I could, I doubt I would be able to see anything through the tears. He's going to break me. I can't imagine this ending any other way. The pain has painted my mind black and all I can think about is how I'm going to die, this is going to kill me. There's no way anyone can live through this sort of pain.

Haruka stops moving, and I let out a strained breath. His cock sits inside me - how much of it, I'm not sure - and my insides feel like they're on fire. For a moment he doesn't move at all, and neither do I. I'm focusing everything I have on keeping my hips still, for fear of making the pain worse.

"Pl- please… Take it out… Haruka, _please… Take it out..._ " I no longer care about how pathetic I sound as I sob and beg. I'm desperate for his pity.

By now, I should know better.

Without any warning, Haruka pulls half-way out of me and thrusts back in. A strangled cry leaves my lips, my fingers digging into the ground. He pulls out and bucks into me again. Again. Again. Every time he pulls out, I feel like he's taking my insides with him. I cry and yell, my senses completely gone. I can no longer see through the tears and I can barely breathe, my nose is so stuffed up, half of my face smashed into the ground. The panic I felt before is fading and is being replaced with acceptance, a blissful reprieve. I can't fight him. I have to let him continue. It's too late to do anything about it now other than endure it.

Haruka's hands leave my shoulders just as I lose the will to fight, which I don't think is a coincidence. Instead his hands clamp down on my ass cheeks, spreading them apart, granting him a smoother entry. I can feel his tail between my legs, thrashing occasionally, anchoring him as he roughly thrusts into me.

My insides slowly begin to accommodate Haruka's length with more ease. The slimy substance his cock excretes has coated me thoroughly, and although the feeling of fullness is still fiercely present, the pain is dulling. Now that I can feel something besides pain, the way he feels inside of me overpowers my senses. Although his dick is large, it's not as hard as a human's would be. It almost feels as if it's conforming to my shape, bending against my muscles as it pumps inside of me. I open my eyes blearily, and my lips part to issue a soft groan. It almost feels… Good. I'm not sure how, but now that the initial shock has worn off and the pain has ebbed slightly, my own penis is stirring. It's hard to decipher what I'm feeling. I've given up. I don't honestly believe I had any intention of refusing Haruka to begin with. I've accepted the risks involved, and even after everything, I can't find it in me to stop loving him. Isn't this what I wanted? Didn't I ask Haruka what I could do to prove my love for him?

All of Haruka's weight is now pressed into my hips, and I try and prop myself up on my elbows. It's difficult, but I manage it. My cheeks are wet with tears and dusted with sand, but I'm more engrossed with the sensation Haruka is giving me. My cock is hard and pressed into my stomach, rubbing in time with Haruka's savage thrusts. A moan slips out, then another. His cock burns inside of me, but it's no longer torturous. It's heating its way through my thighs straight to my dick, lighting me on fire, enveloping my lower half in sweet warmth. The sound of Haruka slapping against my ass fills my ears until it's all I can hear. I feel myself losing touch with my consciousness. Am I passing out? I _can't_ faint, not now, not when it's begun to feel this way…

_Makoto… Tell me that you're mine._

I can hear Haruka's voice in my head as if I'm lost in a haze and his voice is my only beacon to safety. I'm vaguely aware that I'm rocking my hips backwards, meeting Haruka's thrusts.

"I'm… H _aa_ h…. _Aah…_ I'm yours, I belong to Ha- A _nnn_ g... Haruka…"

Haruka's hands snake around my chest, rubbing over my nipples. My arms almost buckle under the sudden increase of body weight from behind, but I somehow manage to hold us up. He kisses and licks my back, lapping at the sweat that's begun to drip from my hairline. I'm producing a string of shameless sounds I never knew I was capable of making as he rhythmically slams into me, every thrust pushing my senses farther and farther into oblivion. His thrusts are becoming faster and more sporadic, and some part of me realizes that he's reaching his limit. I am too. It's incredible; he hasn't even touched my dick and yet I feel so close to climax. Is getting fucked by Haruka turning me on this much?

Even when I open my eyes, I can barely see anything. Tears are still flowing but they're not just from the pain anymore. Lights are flashing behind my lids, timed with Haruka's rough movements. My hips are going numb. I'm almost grateful, because it helps to dull the pain that is still shooting through me, overshadowed by pleasure. Haruka licks up my spine, making me shudder violently.

"Ple- please… M-more… _Harder…_ Haah… _Nng…_ " The words spilling out of me aren't mine, but I claim them as my own. It's hard to tell anymore what pieces of me are real and what parts are Haruka's, but it's clear to me now that it doesn't matter. I belong to Haruka, _all_ of me, every thought, feeling and desire. He wants to show that to me. He wants to help make my decision easier.

Haruka's pace becomes more frantic. I feel him kissing my right side, just over the back of my ribcage, under the shoulder blade. He breathes in deep, his breathing erratic, a low growl in his throat. Even in my incoherent state, I recognize what he's doing.

Teeth sink into the flesh of my back, firmly clamping down. My vision screws, and my mouth opens in a choked, hoarse scream. The pain is unbelievable. My back throbs in pain, burning just where his teeth hook under my skin. My arms give out under me and I fall, flattened against the ground once again, fingers digging into the ground in a desperate attempt to quell the agony. I can't even form words. I have nothing to say, even if I could. Haruka doesn't like it when I tell him to stop, and he doesn't like to be interrupted, either. He wants me to be obedient. I can do that for him. I know that being with him is painful, but I can endure it. I can endure anything for Haruka. I love him. More than my family, more than my life. I would do anything for him. I want him to know that.

His teeth release me and sink back in a little lower. I gasp and grind against him with what little room I have for movement. It doesn't feel like it used to. Pain and pleasure have become one entity, one beautiful, star-dusted creature, impossible to differentiate from one another. I realize in some form that Haruka has most likely done irreparable damage to my brain, but I can't find it in myself to care anymore. I'm consumed by the sensations he's giving me, lost in a fog of pleasure and sin, so far removed from my original self that I don't think I can ever come back.

Haruka's cock swells inside of me, threatening to break me apart with his impending release. I'm okay with breaking. I'm already broken. I moan eagerly and push against him, accepting defeat, embracing it. Haruka's breath is hot against my back, his teeth lovingly carving their mark into my body. He growls deep in his throat, hands grabbing my hips with bruising strength as he pistons into me recklessly, his cock hitting an electric spot inside of my body that is making me fall into a complete state of sloppy disarray.

Something pulses deep inside me, and Haruka pulls his mouth away from my back. I feel a gush of warm blood flow down the dip of my spine and trickle over my side, but I can't focus on that. Another burst of warmth is spurting into me, filling me to the brim. Haruka is holding me tightly, _so_ tightly, growling and clicking as his dick spasms, expelling his seed. It's impossible to hold out any longer; I come violently as he fills me, chanting Haruka's name as if possessed. The intensity is staggering. As semen coats my stomach and my vision blackens, I'm positive that I'm dying, floating into an inky abyss of pleasure.

I vaguely feel Haruka's tongue lapping at the wounds on my back as he slides out of me. I still feel full even after the absence of his cock. A thick, warm liquid trickles out of my stretched hole, pooling between my thighs. I can't speak. I can't move. My climax is waning and leaving my body numb and boneless, and my hips and back are throbbing in pain. I'm hanging on by a timid thread of awareness, teetering precariously on the edge of consciousness. Just before I feel the world spinning away, I hear Haruka's voice cooing in my head.

_Makoto… I love my Makoto. I'll never let Makoto go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title to this chapter is "How to Train Your Human"
> 
> ...I honestly have no idea how long this fic is going to be. Maybe two more chapters? Maybe more? Who knows. It's become a game of 'how fucked up can I make this fic before I have to end it'.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto is not the best liar, but a fool in love rarely is.

I've never had a hangover, but I imagine it feels a lot like this.

I wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. No, two trucks. And one of them had sex with me. My brain is throbbing tirelessly against my skull, and every inch of my body aches. For the briefest of seconds, I don't know where I am. Light painfully floods my retinas as I open my eyes, and I can clearly hear the sea as if it's right next to me. I'm laying on my side, my limbs heavy and unresponsive. Am I outside? As my eyes adjust to my surroundings, my memory comes rushing back, and panic hits me. What time is it? Was I lying here all night? What kind of excuse can I even _come up with_ to explain this?

I try to move and instantly regret it. My ass and my back are in awful pain, making mobility practically impossible at the beginning. Embarrassed, I reach back and feel for my shorts; thankfully, they're pulled up. I'm not sure if I woke up at some point and did that myself or whether Haruka showed me that kindness before leaving me, but either way I'm glad that I wasn't lying on the beach naked all night. Not that anyone would have found me down here anyway.

A muffled, familiar jingle catches my ear, making me start. My brain is still in a fog, so it takes a minute for the realization to hit me. My phone is going off. I attempt getting up a second time, but it's no good. My muscles give out the second I try and use them. I groan in discomfort and turn myself around, looking for my bag. It's right where I left it, close to the water's edge. I almost don't want to answer it. It's probably my parents. I can't imagine how worried they are.

It takes me longer than I would like to finally summon the strength to stand. Shooting pains spread through my rear and hips, making walking a tedious effort. I wobble to my bag and drop down in front of it, opening it and sifting through its contents. I locate my phone and it buzzes in my hand. I flip it open and my heart sinks. Eight missed calls, plus several texts. My jaw clamps with anxiety as I open my call history.

Surprisingly, most of the calls are from Nagisa. Why would Nagisa have called me so many times…? My heart jumps into my throat. I asked him to let me know if he had the dream again. Is it possible that last night…? After I passed out?

My heart racing uncomfortably in my chest, I check my texts. All from Nagisa, save for one, which looks to be from my mother. More concerned with Nagisa's safety at the moment, I check my first text from Nagisa with trembling fingers.

[ mako-chan! answer yr phooooone! where r u? ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ ]

What? How did Nagisa find out that I was gone all night? I check the next text, which answers my question.

[ yr mom called me asking where u were! (;´Д`) are u with 'her'? I told your mom that I saw you on yr run and started talking to u abotu homework and u came home w/ me and helped me untl we both passed out! i also said u lost yr phone! (;° ロ°) she believed me but u HAVE to call me back and tell me wats happenign! ]

I frown at my phone, my brain furiously trying to catch up with the current events. 'Her'? Who is Nagisa talking about?

My memory jogs itself so suddenly I actually smack my own forehead. My fictitious girlfriend! The forbidden romance I told Nagisa about! I can't believe that my mother believed Nagisa's story, but then again, I've never given my parents a reason to distrust me. Guilt washes over me as I think this, but I try and smother it and check the next text. It, along with the next few texts are similar in nature, and I skip past a few of them to read the last one, received just moments ago.

[ mako-chaaaaaan! call me PLZ! i lied to yr mom again! she texted asking about yr school uniform and when yr gonna be home to change b4 school! i told her u were heading there! WHERE R U? (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ ]

At this point, I think I feel worse for Nagisa than my parents. I'm honestly a little afraid to call him back, but I can't delay any longer. Without even realizing it, Nagisa saved me from having to explain any of this. I check the time. 6:52. I audibly groan. If I can get to my house by 7:10ish, I should be able to shower, change into my uniform, and be at school a little before 8:30. I'm cutting it close, but I don't really have a choice. I select Nagisa's number from my contacts.

"MAKO-CHAN!" Nagisa's voice blasts from the other end of the phone as if he's pointing a megaphone at my ear. "I was so worried! Are you okay? Where have you _been_!"

Nagisa's voice is teary, and my guilt rears up again and spears through my chest.

"Nagisa, everything's fine, I'm fine, I promise!" As if to prove me wrong, my back wound sears with pain as I try and adjust my position. "I'm really sorry. I just woke up and my phone was on silent… I'm really, _really_ sorry for worrying you!"

" _Idiot_!" Nagisa shouts into the phone, and I hear him sniffle. "I started to think that maybe I was wrong, and maybe something really bad happened. And if something really bad happened, I would have made it worse by lying to your parents!"

"I'm seriously sorry! I'm sorry you had to cover for me, but I'm really glad that you did. You didn't have to. Thank you, _really_."

Nagisa lets out a breath. "So you _were_ with 'her'?"

Being stingy about lying at a time like this seems ridiculous. "Yes. I didn't mean to be out so late, I honestly didn't. It just sort of… Happened." Silence fills the other end, but I'm fairly sure Nagisa is just doing his best to compose himself. Another stab of guilt. "I'm really sorry. Really _really_ sorry. I swear, it won't happen again!"

"It better not! Because I'm not covering for you again!" Nagisa says in a serious tone that hardly befits him. "Still… I can't believe you're that serious about this girl! You could have gotten into serious trouble, you know." A pause. "Do I hear the _ocean_?"

"Uhhh… Well, I was just on my way back home," I say, managing to stand up, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I wince in pain as my bag hits the tender spot on my back. "I'm walking by the ocean right now."

"Didn't you say you _just_ woke up, though?" Nagisa asks, confused.

"Uhhh…. …." Crap. Unsure of how to right that one, I open my mouth and just let my brain fill in the blanks. "Sorry, I'm still really tired, I guess."

There's a thoughtful silence from the other end that makes me sweat. "Well, okay. I'm just glad you're okay. I told your mom all of that stuff without really thinking, but when you didn't respond to any of my texts or calls I started getting really freaked out."

"I'm sorry," I repeat. "I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

"Your buying me Iwatobi Cream Bread today at lunch! No, _three_ of them!" Nagisa announces. I agree unhesitatingly. We talk briefly about my plan to return home and change before school, and shortly thereafter, we hang up. I almost go to call home and reassure my parents that I'm on my way when I remember that my phone is supposed to be lost. Keeping that in mind, I turn it off to avoid it going off while I'm home.

I look out at the ocean. It's calm today. The events of the previous night creep into my mind, and I feel the strangest mixture of guilt, shame and affection. It almost feels like it didn't happen, like an intense wet dream. The proof is in the amount of pain my body is in, and the new bite marks on my back.

Suddenly, I gasp. My back…! How bad is it? I crane my neck to check, but I can't make out anything. My eyes sweep the spot on the sand where I was lying. There's a fair amount of blood soaked into the sand. There's no way I have time to clean myself up properly before school. I pull my shirt and hoodie out of my bag and dress myself carefully, thankful that my shirt hadn't been on when Haruka bit me. Shredded clothes coupled with my unscheduled all-nighter probably wouldn't go over too well.

I brush myself off and wash my face with seawater. I can't expect to look completely normal upon returning home, but I at least have to look presentable enough to not raise any questions. As I shake my hair out, I find myself looking at the ocean again. Haruka is out there somewhere. Where does he go? When I'm not with him, what is his life like? I find myself thinking more and more things of this nature recently. I wish I could see where he lives, and experience things as he does. If I could live with him, I wouldn't have to worry about hiding our relationship or making up excuses. I could be a more suitable mate for him.

I remember with an unhappy suddenness that I have somewhere I need to be, and I snap myself out of my distant thoughts and head toward the highway. As I go I feel almost as if something is tugging me from behind, back toward the endless sea.

.

.

.

My mother reprimands me strongly when I return home, regardless of my amazing alibi. I apologize profusely, in every way I know how short of lowering myself to the ground. Since I'm so short on time I thankfully don't have to listen to a very long lecture, but there's the promise of one to come later. There's also the matter of my phone; my mother talks about buying me a new one, so I'm going to have to 'find' my phone at some point before she goes to the trouble.

Thoroughly chastised, I take a quick shower, mindful of my latest marks, and then lock myself away in my room to sloppily dress the wounds with leftover bandaging from my shoulder. It's awkward, and I can't quite see what I'm doing, but I don't have time to worry about it. I can dress it better later when I get home.

Despite my hurry, my mother forces breakfast on me. Surprisingly, I don't feel hungry, but I'm in no position to argue. I scarf my breakfast, give my siblings a goodbye hug and rush out the door.

I make it to school with minutes to spare, out of breath. My back burns with pain. Every step I take is causing me more and more discomfort, and I'm starting to regret not taking more time to dress the wounds properly. Nagisa is waiting at the gates, staring at his phone as if counting down the seconds it takes me to arrive.

"Mako-chan!" As soon as he sees me, he's rushing over to me, his expression screwed in worry. "You made it! I wasn't sure how far you had to go to get home…"

I take a well-needed gulp of air. "It wasn't too far." As soon as I catch my breath, I offer Nagisa a bow. "Nagisa, thank you for covering for me. I seriously appreciate it, and I'm sorry for putting you to so much trouble!"

I hear Nagisa giggle. "Oh my _god_ Mako-chan, you've really got it bad, huh?" He moves around to my side. "Apologize more later, but we have to hurry or we're gonna be-"

" _Aaauhg_..!" Pain slices through my side as Nagisa brings his hand down on my back, precisely hitting my fresh wounds. I'm sure he meant it as a friendly pat, but the pain it causes is immediate and crippling. I yank away from him and nearly lose my footing.

"Mako-chan?" Nagisa's eyes are wide and alarmed, his hand still hovering in the air awkwardly, as if he's too afraid to move it again. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Aahh… Sorry…" I sputter, embarrassed, "I… Pulled a muscle on my run." I'm not good at coming up with lies on the fly. Nagisa cocks his head at me questioningly.

"It hurts _that much_?"

"I guess so," I say, accompanied by an awkward laugh. "I might have to get it checked out later."

Nagisa narrows his eyes at me in a way that makes me feel doubly as awkward. I clear my throat and look meaningfully at the school.

"Shouldn't we go, Nagisa? We're going to be late!"

.

.

.

Lately, I feel like a criminal.

After my spontaneous 'sleep-over' at Nagisa's house, my mother has me on a strict schedule, and my nightly runs have been revoked. No matter how much I want to, I can't argue. I feel like I've lost my parent's trust. I'm still hiding so much from them, from _everyone_ , and the unending guilt I feel is eating away at my stomach a little more every day. Still, it's a small price to pay to get to be with Haruka. Not getting to see him every night is maddening. Since the night I didn't come home, I haven't seen him. It's been five days, and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I would have slipped out after everyone went to bed, but each and every time I attempt, someone is always up getting a glass of water or working on something extra late. Paranoia has begun to set in, telling me that they suspect I'm leaving the house, but I try and push those thoughts away. It's more than likely a coincidence. My parents don't usually go for that sneaky, _catch-em-in-the-act_ approach. If they have worries or concerns, they're usually upfront about it.

Anxiety grows in me every day I'm away from Haruka. Since our second meeting I haven't been away from him longer than two nights. Does he think I'm angry with him for what happened? I can't bear the idea of Haruka thinking I don't want to see him. I understand why he did what he did. I'm eager to prove to him that I understand. Ever since he's been inside of me, I've craved the sensation. I already enjoyed the things we've done together, but there was something about that experience that makes my insides burn with longing every time I remember it. It makes me feel… _Slutty_. It isn't as if I haven't masturbated before, I _am_ a teenager, but the last few days I've had to do it every night before bed just to take the edge off.

It's impossible to ignore how my grades are slipping. Concentrating on school work has become difficult. Concentrating on _anything_ is difficult. My thoughts are consumed by Haruka. Whenever I try and focus on other things, it's almost as if something short-circuits in my brain and I hit a wall. My parents have even taken notice, but of course they don't understand what's happening. They're worried that I'm overworking myself, and my father even suggested that I take a break from club activities to focus more on my school work. The thought upsets me. Track is the only viable excuse I have for evening training, and without it, my easiest way of visiting Haruka is gone.

On the sixth night, predictably, I'm unable to sneak out. My mother is still doing things in the kitchen, I can hear her. I'm wrapped up in my comforter, trying to focus on sleep. I haven't been getting much of that lately, which can't be helping my grades any. As I lay awake, thinking of Haruka, I wish desperately that I could see him. Honestly, I'm not sure how much longer I can go without. I'm positive I'll lose my mind if I have to wait another week. I have to let him know that I'm not mad at him, I have to make sure he still loves me. Without some kind of reassurance, I… Without that…

 _Makoto_.

I jump so badly I nearly tumble out of bed. I snap up, my blankets sliding off of me to the floor, pooling around my ankles. Did I just hear…?

"H-Haruka?!"

I look around my room as if expecting to see him somewhere. I know it's insane, but I clearly heard his voice just now, just as clearly as when I'm looking right at him. Was I imagining things…?

 _Why haven't you come?_ I hear his voice again, just as directly as before. I whirl around, staring at my open window. Can his thoughts reach me all the way here? _I'm tired of waiting. I want you to come here._

It feels like my heart is overflowing with emotions. Can I answer him? Is this a two-way conversation?

"I'm so sorry!" I say out loud, unsure of whether or not he can even hear me. "I wanted to come! I haven't been able to get away, it's been impossible!"

He can either hear me or he's hearing my thoughts before the words leave my mouth, because his reply is almost immediate.

_Come to me. I want to see you._

Thankfully, he doesn't sound angry with me, but he does sound miffed.

"I can't!" I explain regretfully. "My mom is in the kitchen, so I can't slip past her. But…! I'll wait a bit longer, and when she falls asleep-"

 _I don't want to wait any longer_. Haruka's mind sounds made up. Still, I'm not sure what he expects me to do. As I desperately try and think of something, I start to hear a floating, haunting song. My breath stops in my throat. No, no _no_! Forcing me out the door isn't going to help the situation at all! The thought of my mother following me to the edge of water, distressed, seeing Haruka…. Just before I can panic, I realize that I have complete control of my body. Then what is he…?

"Haruka, what are you doing?" I ask, but I get no answer, only the alluring song that fills the air around me. This song is different. I haven't heard this song before, I'm sure of it. Cautiously, I cross my room and open my door, peering into the hallway. It's hard to hear anything over the music, but I could swear that the house is more quiet than I've ever heard it.

Worried, I leave my room and make my way to the kitchen. The room is dark, and I swear that the music sounds louder here somehow. I pick up the pace, hurrying in and looking around.

My panic ebbs only slightly when I see my mother sitting at the kitchen table. She looks fine, but… What is she doing? She's sitting with her hands folded on the table in front of her, back straight, forward-facing and still as stone. The whole scene is eerier than it needs to be, and my heart is hammering wildly in my ribcage and ears.

"...Mom? Is everything okay?" No reply. She stares blankly across the room, her eyes wide but not finding anything. I walk over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a gentle but panicked shake. "Mom?"

_She's fine. She'll go to bed after you leave._

I'm surprised a second time by Haruka's voice as the music fades into nothingness. I turn around, again, a pointless gesture.

"What did you do? She's… Are you sure she's okay?"

_Makoto. Come._

Haruka's voice is urgent, and although I'm positive he has ceased singing, I still feel as if invisible strings are commanding me to comply. I check my mother's breathing, her pulse, and when I'm satisfied that she's okay, I quietly retrieve my bag from my room and leave the house.

.

.

.

It's no surprise that Haruka is waiting for me by the time I get to the docks. Unbridled excitement surges through me as soon as I see his hauntingly beautiful form stretched out on the sand, his tail lolling gently in the water. He looks up at me as soon as I'm within view. I nearly feel like crying. It's as if it's been an eternity since we've seen each other, and all at once I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams, relief flooding me. He _waited_ for me. Affection overwhelms me, and as I draw nearer, I just want to sweep him up in my arms, but I'm not sure if I should. Instead, I drop my bag in its usual place, my chest still heaving from having run the whole way. He props himself up via his arms, gazing at me with that same cool expression he always greets me with.

"Haruka…"

 _Don't stay away for that long again_ , Haruka warns sullenly, his face drawn into something of a pout.

"I tried to get away so many times," I offer feebly, smiling. I'm incredibly relieved that he doesn't seem angry with me. I don't think I've ever felt more relieved. "I missed you, Haruka. Really, truly... I almost couldn't stand it."

Haruka tilts his head at me curiously. _Makoto, come here_.

I obey without question. When I get close enough he grabs the hem of my shirt and yanks me down with him, and it seems like such a welcoming gesture that I throw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, burying my face in his cold, slick shoulder.

"I was so worried you were mad at me. I was going crazy without you, you know...! I really felt like I was losing my mind..." Haruka wraps his arms around me, laying back on the sand and pulling me down on top of him. He nuzzles my neck gently.

_Makoto shouldn't worry about that. I can't hate Makoto. I love him._

My heart warms at the words, and I can't stop myself from crying. I feel like a mess. Without Haruka, I don't want to function. I realize that more clearly than ever when I'm wrapped up in his arms, feeling his skin against mine. I cry into his shoulder, and his lips leave a number of kisses on my neck and jaw. I don't know why, but I'm chanting apologies in between sobs, over and over again. He's whispering calming words in my mind, and his hands are gently running over the bandaged bit of my back that covers the latest marks he's given me.

It's strange, but I feel safe. I realize that over the last few days, I've felt lost and vulnerable, more timid of the world than I've ever been. Haruka has made me feel this way. Without his constant presence, I don't feel protected anymore. I feel alone. Susceptible.

As I manage to calm myself down, I can feel my groin having an involuntary reaction to our proximity. Haruka must feel it also; his hips buck upward, teasing against my hardening length. Now that my emotional episode has ebbed, six days worth of pent-up sexual frustration is coming to a desperate head. My hips are tingling with the memory of our last time, and the exceedingly familiar longing is burning me from the inside out.

"Haruka…" I want to voice my desires, but it's pointless. Haruka already knows, and one of his hands raises to fist in my hair, seizing my mouth in a sloppy kiss. I immediately melt. I kiss him back frantically, desperate for the wetness, his teeth, his tongue, anything I can get. My mouth gradually leaves his and begins a downward descent, kissing and licking along his slick skin, trying to memorize every bone and curve on his body as I go. I plant soft kisses over his quivering gills, earning a sharp gasp of pleasure from Haruka as his hand reclaims its spot in my hair. I trail my tongue over his stomach, his muscles twitching and contracting as I continue toward his groin. My head feels oddly heavy and fuzzy as I reposition myself, moving down the length of his body and gripping his hips for stability as cold water sloshes up to my knees. I straddle his tail, lowering my head to carefully lick at the smooth flaps of skin covering his retracted penis.

Haruka clicks and groans, bucking his hips up, a clear message to continue. Excitement wells inside of me. Ever since our last time, I've wanted this. No, I've _craved_ it. I've felt like a man starved, stuck playing the events over and over in my head during our time apart just to keep my mind from falling into shambles.

I drag my tongue up and down over the flaps of salty skin, eliciting sweet moans from Haruka and an intense, developing heat under his skin that indicates a positive reaction. It isn't long before I feel something wet press against my lips, the flaps moving aside to allow his cock to slip through. As the head emerges, I immediately take it into my mouth, sucking gently. The sound Haruka produces is like nothing I've ever heard before. My eyes flick up to regard him, his back slightly bowed, his hands grasping handfuls of sand on either side of him. My heart flutters at the sight. I run my tongue over the tip of his cock, lapping up the thick liquid that's begun to bead there. The taste is surprisingly sweet. It's thicker than human semen and cream-colored, and I can't help but wonder if it has addictive qualities to explain my unbridled desire.

 _Makoto is so eager tonight…_ he gasps in my mind. I'm so engrossed with the task at hand I nearly jump in surprise.

"That's because… I missed Haruka so much... " My words are slightly slurred, my tongue still swirling over the smooth head of Haruka's penis.

His cock slides out further, pushing its way eagerly into my mouth. I accept as much as I can, sucking the growing appendage as if it's the only thing that can sustain me. Haruka's tail thrashes behind me and he moans beautifully, leaving himself completely at my mercy. Seeing Haruka relenting to me in any form makes my heart swell with affection. I bob my head hungrily on the first few inches of his cock, the sticky substance he secretes wetting my lips and staining the inside of my mouth. I'm already reaching the limits of how much I can endure, and I think Haruka knows that as well. When I look up at him again, his heaving body bathed in moonlight, he's beckoning me with his eyes. I pull my lips away from his cock, his member leaving my mouth with a wet but alluring pop. Feeling dazed, I glance up at Haruka again, my expression undoubtedly conveying my uncertainty on how to proceed.

Haruka holds out his hand for me, and I take it. He knows what I want, and I trust him to guide me. He pulls me closer to him, close enough to press our mouths together in another heady kiss. My knees digging into the ground on either side of Haruka's hips, I struggle with my shorts, pulling them down hastily. My hands are trembling badly, making it difficult, but soon I'm able to discard my pants, leaving them bunched around my right ankle. Haruka is eagerly tugging on my shirt, and I break our kiss only to pull it over my head and toss it carelessly at my bag.

Haruka bucks his hips up, and I gasp into his mouth, the feeling of his slick cock pushing against my hole sending electric tremors up my spine, making me shudder. My mind feels blissfully light. I can't describe how I'm feeling. High, maybe? My desire for Haruka's cock is overwhelming my senses, making it nearly impossible to act on anything other than impulse. I pull away from our heated kiss only to lift my hips up and reach down, gently grasping his cock and lining it up with my entrance. It pushes against me, warm and wet, and it's like I'm seeing the world through a foggy lens.

He pushes into me, and I cry out. I slowly move my hips downward, eager to indulge. As he sinks into me, a sob of joy catches in my throat. This feeling is indescribable. It's hard to believe I was ever afraid of it. Haruka's fingernails are digging into my upper arms, his head tossed back, his mouth open and silent. I try and concentrate on the position of my hips for fear of doing something reckless and taking in too much too soon, but it's difficult. There's a buried desire to be destroyed somewhere within me, pulsing in the dark, becoming more vocal as time drags on. I can't deny it anymore; if it's Haruka, I don't care how messed up I become. If he wants to bite me, it's okay. If he wants to fuck me, it's okay.

If he someday wants to kill me, eat me, completely destroy me… It's okay.

It's okay if it's Haruka.

Haruka grabs my hips, pulling my hips down abruptly, impaling me on his length. My mouth opens to scream, but only a choked gasp emerges. I look down to see our hips flush with each other, his cock filling up my insides. It feels incredible. The pain is a whisper among an orchestra of shameless pleasure, blasting into my brain so loudly that everything else is drowned out. I look down at Haruka, trembling, desperate, broken.

"H-Haruka… _Haah_ … Fuck me… _Please_ …"

Haruka's expression changes in an instant. I see something click behind his eyes, something animalistic, something terrifying and thrilling. Before I can react, Haruka snaps up, grabbing my shoulders and shoving me back. I fall, his hands never leaving my shoulders. I land in the water, my back and shoulder stinging as sea water splashes over them. Haruka moves in between my legs and without giving me a moment to find my bearings he slips inside of me again, pounding into me mercilessly. I coil my arms around his neck to keep my head above water and to keep my grip on reality. Every thrust draws the breath from my lungs and a string of desperate moans from my lips. I'm losing my mind. No, I've already lost it. This is what I want, what I _truly_ want. I don't want to think about the future. Nothing else matters to me. Belonging to Haruka is the only thing I care about. His love is the only thing I need.

As I moan and gasp his name, Haruka tips his upper body forward, pushing me into the water. I barely realize that he's doing it until suddenly water flows into my mouth and nose, cutting off my air. Panic floods me and I struggle to hold my breath, my arms intensifying their hold. I wonder vaguely if Haruka has forgotten that I can't breathe under water, and then I realize what's happening. Haruka must have spent too long out of the water, and he's trying to get his breath back. I can feel his gills fluttering against my ribs. Still… Does he remember that I need air?

Haruka's cock strikes that sensitive mound of nerves inside of me, and I'm unable to withhold a shout, water flooding into my open mouth. I choke, trying to avoid swallowing sea water while still trying to hold my breath. My lungs are burning and I'm starting to feel light headed. I start to wonder if I might actually drown when Haruka pushes his mouth against mine, breathing into me, forcefully opening up my airways. I kiss him hard, desperately accepting the air he's giving me, whimpering into his mouth as he puts his full, wonderful weight against me. I manage to hook my legs around his waist, his thrusts becoming more frantic and closely-timed.

I hold him tightly as he comes, so deeply within me I'm positive I should be able to taste it. He pulls me just above the surface of the water as I follow suit, my cries mingling with my urgent inhalation of air as I explode, my come splattering over both of our stomachs. Somewhere in the dark recesses of my brain, I wonder if orgasming is _supposed_ to feel like dying, like being dashed into an unbelievably sweet oblivion of death, or whether this is something exclusive to Haruka.

As I hold Haruka in my arms, my body wracked with aftershocks, I realize that death and pleasure are very much the same. The release of death, the pain of pleasure. Maybe this is what Haruka wanted to show me. He wanted to teach me not to be afraid.

I'm not afraid anymore.

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.

.

I'm very wet. I would have taken a run to try and dry myself off, but that's just not an option. I can barely walk, forget running. Fortunately, Haruka has promised that my parents should be soundly sleeping when I arrive home, so I shouldn't have to worry about being discovered. This gives me only minimal comfort. Haruka is positive that his song only induced a trance-like state and did no harm, but I still want to get home to check them myself. I won't feel completely at ease until I do.

Assuming Haruka's song was harmless, the implications of such a talent are honestly exciting. Getting out of the house to see Haruka was always the biggest hurdle, but if this all works out, if Haruka's song can simply ensure that I can slip out of the house without being noticed, I'll never have to worry about not being able to see Haruka again. I can always make sure Haruka is happy, and by keeping him happy and well-fed, I don't have to concern myself with anyone else's welfare. The people of Iwatobi will be safe, Haruka will be content, and I'll get to be with Haruka. It almost seems too good to be true.

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.

.

I feel I've barely closed my eyes before they're open again.

At first, I'm unsure as to what woke me. I blink through the darkness, struggling to sit up despite how sore everything is. I rub my face, and then I listen to the silence. What woke me? I feel anxious, but I can't place why. Glancing at my clock, I groan. I've only been asleep for an hour and a half. I wasn't going to get much sleep as it was, but inexplicably waking up throughout the night is going to make focusing on school impossible.

A steady green light blinks from my phone on my bedside table. I stare at it, unmoving. Who could possibly be trying to get a hold of me so late? I grab my phone and flip it open. Three missed texts. I select the first, and my stomach turns to ice.

[ mako-chaaaan. u told me 2 tell u if i was hearing that song again, right? i think i can hear it rn, and i'm a little freaked out. haha im definitely awake but i can still hear it. thats creepy, huh? ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ ]

The text was sent a little over two hours ago. I must have been in the shower… I was too tired to do anything but fall into bed after toweling myself down. I read the next.

[ mako-chan i feel funny. im actually getting pretty scared now. the song wont stop. i tried to wake up my parents but they r really sound asleep and cant hear me. what should i do? ]

This text was sent ten minutes after the first. My hands are shaking. How is this possible? After everything that's happened, does Haruka _still_ not understand? Why would he be doing this _now_?

I get up, my body still heavy and clumsy, and I one-handedly attempt to pull my clothes on. I select the final text. It's nothing but a hodgepodge of letters and symbols, as if Nagisa had just button-mashed the keys of his phone to produce an unintelligible mess. It sends shivers down my spine looking at it, so I close my phone and stuff it into my pocket. I throw open my door, not particularly concerned about making noise, and make my way downstairs, not stopping for anything.

As I burst through my front door and start running toward the ocean - ignoring the burning pain in my ass and hips - I try to think of how far Nagisa could have gone in the time frame presented to me. No trains or buses run this late, so unless he was hitch-hiking, he would have to be heading here by foot. My blood runs cold as a sudden thought hits me. What makes me think that Haruka would be luring him to our usual place? He can swim anywhere he wants, _hunt_ anywhere he wants. Still, I continue running in the direction of the docks. I have a feeling he's there. Haruka _wants_ me to know. He doesn't want to keep it a secret from me. Is this some kind of test?

I run until my lungs are taut and burning. I've made it to the docks, but I can't see anyone or anything. Was I wrong after all? Was Haruka luring him somewhere else? Panic courses through me. Did I miss him somewhere? Is it already too late? I turn back toward the road, making my way up the bank for a better vantage point. I'm half-way up when I spot him.

Illuminated by a street light, an unmistakable mop of blond hair is heading in my direction, walking as if in a trance, eyes unfocused and empty. I must have looked just like him when Haruka first lured me down here. He carefully climbs over the railing, his steps firm and precise but not his own.

"Nagisa!" I call for him, but predictably, he doesn't seem at all aware of my presence. I approach him, putting my hands on his shoulders, trying and failing to catch his gaze. " _Nagisa_! Hey! Snap out of it, _please_!"

Nagisa is staring through me, toward his grim destination, struggling against my grip to continue along his pre-determined path. I hold him tightly. "Nagisa… Please… Listen to me, you have to wake up, okay? You have to go home!"

Still nothing. He somehow wiggles free of my grip and shoulders past, walking slowly and methodically toward the water's edge.

I once again block him, grabbing him by the upper arms. I give him a light shake, but it appears to have no effect. "Nagisa!" An idea strikes me, and without much time for consideration I raise my hand and bring it smartly across Nagisa's face. My hand stings and I feel wicked, but Nagisa's eyes are wide in surprise, and he's finally looking at me, _really_ looking at me.

"Mako…. chan….?" he looks around in complete confusion, and I realize abruptly that I have no idea how to explain _anything_. Regardless, I'm beyond relieved.

"Nagisa…! Thank god…"

"Mako-chan? What's… What- Where am I ? Why are you…?"

I loosen my grip on his arm, holding a hand over my heart to try and calm myself down. "Nagisa, I'm not sure how to explain it, but-"

A sound like I have never heard slices through the quiet night air, silencing me effortlessly. The sound is wailing, grinding, like metal-on-metal. I'm rendered actionless, my only thought being to stop the horrid sound from searing into my brain like cold knives. I clamp my hands over my ears, my legs failing me and landing me hard on my knees. I manage to open my eyes for only a moment to see Nagisa doing the same, his mouth open in a shout that I can't hear over the screaming.

It's over in an instant, leaving my mind scarred by its echo. I slowly open my eyes and uncover my ears, my head throbbing. Nagisa is laying on the sand motionless, and in a panic I try and shake him awake. When he doesn't stir, I check his breathing. He's alive. Unconscious, most likely, and to be honest I'm surprised I'm not there with him.

_Why are you interfering?_

With some difficulty, I turn around. Haruka is staring daggers at me from the water, only his head and neck visible above the water.

"Haruka, please don't do this!" I cry, my heart racing. The awful sound he emitted it still ringing aggressively in my ears. "I asked you not to hurt Nagisa! He's my _friend_ , remember when I told you about friends? You really can't…!"

 _I'm hungry_. Haruka shoots back. _I told you, human meat is the best for me_.

"I still can't let you!" I say adamantly. Even in the darkness, I can see Haruka narrow his eyes.

 _I thought you loved me_. he says.

"Of _course_ I do!" I reply. I mean it, with every inch of my soul. "I love you more than _anything_ , but-"

 _Then it shouldn't matter which human goes missing_. he says stoically. _Makoto is all I need. I should be all that Makoto needs, too._

I don't know how to answer. He _is_ all I need. But still… I can't shake on this. I can't let Nagisa die.

"Haruka… I'll do anything you want, just please, _please_ don't hurt Nagisa! It's hard to explain why it's so important, but it is! Even though you're all I need, Nagisa is still important to me. Can you understand that?"

Haruka watches me from the water in silence for several seconds.

 _Who else is important to you?_ he finally asks me. His question takes me off-guard.

"Wh- what?"

 _Were the other humans I took important to you?_ he continues. I'm unsure how he wants me to respond, so I opt for being bluntly honest.

"Well… I didn't really know any of them, so I suppose not…? But that's not to say that-"

_So if you don't know another human, they're not important to you?_

I don't feel right about what he's asking. This conversation is going somewhere I hadn't counted on.

"I wouldn't say _that_ exactly… It's just..."

Haruka comes nearer to me, pulling himself halfway onto land, inches away from Nagisa's unconscious form. My heart leaps into my throat.

_I don't like that he is important to you. I don't like him._

" _Please…_ Haruka…"

_...But since he is important to Makoto, I'll spare him._

I swear my heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second. I nearly lose my breath from relief, and I can feel tears gathering behind my eyes. "...Really?"

Haruka nods. I'm overcome with relief and joy and a plethora of other emotions I can't possibly sort out at the moment. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him, burying my face in his neck. "Haruka…!"

_I'll let him go. Though, I'm still hungry._

I feel my smile melt immediately. I loosen my hold on him and pull away just enough to see his beautiful face. "O-oh… Of course, I mean, I still have mackeral in my fridge at home, I can-"

_I told you. Human meat is the best for me. I need it._

My mouth goes dry. "So… What do you…?"

 _Makoto._ Haruka's bright eyes are staring into mine with purpose. _I've decided I want Makoto to choose the human for me. Someone unimportant. Someone Makoto doesn't know. If Makoto does that, I'll leave the ones he cares about alone._

Haruka's hands slide up my chest, and his lips meet mine in a sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Only one chapter left! I feel like I could write messed up stuff about Siren!Haru forever, but for the sake of story I just can't bring myself to milk it. (Plus I want to start posting Palace's sequel -cough cough-)~~ I may be extending the story by a chapter or two. I'm not sure yet, but the last chapter is turning out to be too long and there are other ideas I have that I want to include, as well. I've been having a hard time writing lately, so I'm not sure when the next update will be, but it will be soon!
> 
> I'm still crying over the damn beautiful ending of Eternal Summer. If anyone needs me I'll be writing the last chapter in the corner in a sea of my own tears ;~;


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto struggles with a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It shouldn't be a surprise at this point but this chapter has graphic scenes of gore, so trigger warnings all over the place please and thank you (シ_ _)シ

When I was little, I had a habit of falling asleep on the couch.

Sometimes I would wake up to the sound of the television blaring or the sounds of my parents talking and laughing in the kitchen. In that moment, that sliver of time between sleeping and awake, my world was a surreal place. Even the sounds I heard seemed fabricated and intrusive. It wasn't as if I was particularly unhappy waking up where I was, that wasn't it at all. I'm still not sure what made me feel that way. Perhaps falling asleep on the couch was too unfamiliar, or maybe it was the immediate reminder upon waking that the world continued its rounds even while I was napping. Whatever the reason, the feeling that smothered me as soon as consciousness returned and the sounds and sensations of waking life came rushing back was momentarily jarring, and because of that, I disliked it.

After a while, I stopped falling asleep on the couch.

As I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling, morning light seeping through my window and laying stripes of daylight over my body, I am enveloped in this feeling. My world feels surreal. There's an unbelieving panic settled somewhere in my chest, trembling under the surface, waiting for a chance to show itself.

I haven't slept aside from the hour and a half's worth of sleep I accumulated before I woke to Nagisa's texts.

I walked an entranced Nagisa home and didn't return to my room until 6am. According to Haruka, Nagisa will have no memory of anything that happened aside from perhaps hazy dream-like pieces that won't be clear enough to consider authentic. I'm grateful for that. I'm glad I don't have to explain anything, and I'm glad that Nagisa's safety is finally secured.

Haruka's words echo in my head. He wants me to pick his next victim - his next _meal_ \- and I don't have very much time to do it. There's a selfish part of me that wishes I hadn't tried so hard for Nagisa, so that I wouldn't have to make this sort of decision. As soon as I think this, I feel sick with myself. Of _course_ I don't want Nagisa to be hurt. I can't fathom losing anyone close to me. My family and my friends are important to me. And even though Haruka can't fully understand that sort of love, he still let Nagisa go. He's doing me a kindness. I keep telling myself that. By letting me choose the victim, he's sparing the people that matter the most to me. Isn't that a good thing?

No. It _can't_ be. No one life is worth more than another. I have no right to choose to end someone's life just to save someone dear to me. I believe we all have an inborn desire to protect those familiar to us over people we don't know, but that shouldn't be reason enough to play God with other peoples lives.

My alarm sounds needlessly, letting me know that its time to wake up for school. I'm not even certain I can make it through another school day, but I don't exactly have a choice. I dress myself and sluggishly make my way down the stairs to the smell of breakfast cooking. My mother looks and sounds just as lively as usual, which is a big relief. As she asks me how I slept, I can't help but wonder what she would think of her son choosing a human for slaughter. I eat breakfast in a hurry, hoping I can keep it down.

.

.

.

My day was a blur. I nodded off in class more times than I could count. I can no longer understand the assignments being handed to me, and I'm positive I completely bombed my history exam. If I talked to people, I don't remember. As soon as the school day was over, I hurried out of there as quickly as I could. Being around so many people feels suffocating, like I'm surrounded by hungry wolves spitting lies in my face.

As I walk home, I'm distracted by all of the people I see. A woman walking with an umbrella tucked under her arm, a businessman walking briskly and glancing at his watch, a small group of children racing one another to the convenience store… I'm overwhelmed by the amount of life going on all around me. I have to choose one of these people. Even if I don't know them, I've seen them before. Iwatobi is not a large town by any means; all of these people live close to me, work nearby, or have children who go to my school. They're all so closely connected, how can I possibly choose one? How does Haruka do it?

I chastise myself immediately. Haruka doesn't think that way. To him, choosing a human to eat is no different than me ordering a plate of grilled squid. We consider ourselves higher on the food chain than squid, so it doesn't bother us. I'm in a sea of squid, and I have to pick one to be served up and eaten. The problem is that I'm a squid myself. It isn't right. It isn't natural.

I look around again, watching a whole new slew of people going about their daily lives. Women chatting outside of the sweets shop, an old man packing up his fishing gear to return home for the day, a group of laughing students passing a cell phone around, showing off pictures. What would Haruka need from each of them in order to catch their scent? A handkerchief? The fisherman's hat, or a cell phone? Which would be the easiest to obtain?

My breath catches in my throat, and I realize that my right arm is trembling uncontrollably. My chest feels tight, so incredibly tight… I feel an onslaught of panic threaten to consume me and before I realize what I'm doing I'm running, directionless, terrified, and I find myself throwing my bag behind a tree, crumpling into a heaving heap behind a brick wall. I can't catch my breath, and hot tears are obscuring my vision and rolling down my cheeks. I press my head between my knees and try to quell my panic.

What am I considering? How can I even be thinking about something so insane? I love Haruka. I would do anything for him, but… I understand that he has to eat, and I know that he's trying to do something kind for me. No one wants their loved ones to be hurt. Still… What he's asking me to do is too much. I'm not capable of making this sort of decision. If I don't, what will he do? Will he be mad at me? Will he take Nagisa after all? Will he leave me to find a more dependable mate?

My chest feels like its on fire. The thought of Haruka leaving me… Just the mere thought of being without him makes me feel like I want to die. I need to be with Haruka. Surely he knows how much I need him, and how far I would go to be with him… But I simply can't do this. I have to talk to him. I'm sure we can come to some kind of understanding. After all, he loves me. I know he does.

I stay in the alley for several more minutes, breathing, just breathing.

.

.

.

My feet are wet.

It's freezing. My hands find my arms and rub them vigorously, my eyes straining to see through the incredible darkness. I can hear something dripping, leaving a beautiful echo with every drop of liquid. Looking around is pointless. Everywhere I look the same oppressive darkness looms over me, and there's no trace of light to be seen, no clear exit. I'm not even sure where I am. When did I get here? Why is it so _cold_?

I take a hesitant step forward and nearly trip. Water sloshes above my ankles, and in the water, there are lots of long, hard objects. I carefully feel for a wall, stepping with caution. My fingers touch something damp and jagged, and I almost pull my hand away but think better of it. I feel the surface, trying to understand what it is I'm touching. It feels almost like the wall of a cave. How in the world did I end up in a cave?

With my free hand, I instinctively pat my pants pocket for my phone. My hand only finds cold, clammy skin. I'm naked. My body feels numb; even as I frantically check my body over, I can barely feel my own hand against my skin. The cold is undoubtedly to blame. It's so _cold…_

I have to get out of here. My only thought is to escape wherever I am, as quickly as I can. I hug the wall closely and continue on, mindful of where I'm stepping. Each step scatters unidentified objects in every direction under the water. As they brush past my ankles and feet, I can tell that some of them are sharp. I'm careful not to step down too hard, for fear of being punctured.

I walk along the wall for some time, lost in the darkness. My memory is a haze. I can't remember anything about how I got here, or why I'm tragically lacking clothing… Nothing about this makes any sense. The only sound to be heard is the splashing of water as I walk and the scraping of the hard objects I'm pushing around. I'm scared. I want to see Haruka. I don't want to be alone. _I don't want to be alone_.

My foot hits a large rock and I trip, losing my grip on the wall and landing hard on my hands and knees. I yell out in pain; the sharp pieces littering the floor cut into me, my body not quite numb enough to dull the sensation. I try and get up, but no matter where I lean, I'm surrounded by the dangerous objects. Carefully, I sit up, blindly reaching out to touch one of the longer pieces that had cut into me. It's surprisingly light; I pick it up, feeling it. It's smooth and curved, pointed at one end, jagged at the other. Could this be…? It feels almost like…

Light spills into the cavern from above. I look up to see a full moon unveiled by clouds, shining through a narrow chasm in the cave ceiling. Relief floods me. If I can see, I have a much better chance of getting out. I have to hurry; the clouds are threatening to plunge me into darkness once again.

I look back at the object I'm holding in my hands, and I'm frozen.

With a scream I fling it away from me and scramble to my feet, tripping a second time and landing on my side. Something sharp stabs shallowly into my arm. I pull it free, my hands shaking. Bones. All of them, all around me. Human bones. I sit there, too scared to move, too horrified to stay. Why am I here? What _is_ this place? _Why…_?

Something moves just next to me, startling me out of my horror. I turn, struggling to see through the semi-darkness and through my own tears. Bubbles are forming at the surface of the water, and I realize that I had fallen next to an underground spring that appears to make up the majority of the cave; I'm unintentionally sitting at the mouth. One more step and I might have plunged right in.

A familiar head emerges from the previously unnoticed body of water, his eyes locked on mine as if he already knew exactly where I was.

"H-Haruka!"

He says nothing, pulling himself halfway out of the water, eyes continuously locked on me. I feel like I could cry. I'm so relieved by his presence, I don't care about anything else. Without a thought I throw my arms around his neck and sob into his shoulder.

"I was so scared…! I was all alone… You weren't here and I…!" Haruka presses his face to my shoulder, breathing deeply. I shiver. Still he says nothing. Concerned, I try and pull away, but Haruka firmly pulls me back, his nose and lips treading gently over my neck. I freeze, my hands anchored on his shoulders. "Haruka…?"

Haruka sucks in a breath and bites into me. I lurch backward to try and get away, but Haruka is firmly clamped, and we land together in a pile of bones. I try and scream but only a choke emerges, Haruka's teeth tearing into my neck, pulling skin from bone and muscle. I try and say his name, I try and tell him how much I love him. My hands move to his hair, entangling in the inky black mop; not to stop him, to feel him. I hold him close to me, the pain screwing my vision and causing my eyes to roll. I can hear the wet sounds of Haruka feeding next to my ear. It's not as unpleasant as I thought it would be.

Haruka pulls away from me, chin tilted upward to keep the blood and flesh from falling from his mouth, his tongue emerging to lick his lips. My blood runs down his chin, and when he looks back at me, I'm positive he's the most beautiful thing in the world. My Haruka… I raise a shaky hand to touch his face. He closes his eyes and pushes his cheek against my palm, almost like a cat would. I smile. I want to tell him I love him, I want to say the words, but my voice doesn't work anymore. I mouth the words instead, just as my head starts to feel light and far-away.

Something squirms between my legs, pushing them apart. Moving my head is painful, but I manage to look down and see Haruka spreading my thighs apart, and before I can register what's happening, he's taking my dick into his mouth. It feels incredible, so much more incredible than the first time. I feel like I'm melting. He slowly and methodically runs his mouth along my length, sucking at the tip, his tongue desperately licking the underside, still warm with my blood. The hot suction and blessid wetness brings me to orgasm quickly. Haruka swallows everything I expel, his lips closing around my cock firmly to milk every drop. My mouth is open in a silent scream, my body quaking with aftershocks.

I don't have the strength to open my eyes when I feel Haruka press his torso against mine, but the weight is incredible and it's hard to take a breath. I can feel his cock pressing against my hole, and I entwine my arms around his neck as he enters me. I toss my head back, tilting my hips up, yearning to be fucked. The scattered bones underneath me dig into my flesh, but I can barely feel them. Only Haruka can deliver such sweet pain onto me, only his marks matter. As he roughly thrusts into me, he licks my neck wound, tongue lapping hungrily at the exposed muscle. My brain is buzzing. I hold him close to me, his slick skin rubbing against my scarred body, his tail wildly slapping against my hips with every pound.

My lips close to his ear, I push out a whispering plea. Haruka's movements cease only for a fraction of a second; he resumes with a powerful thrust, just as his teeth sink into my neck again, pulling at muscle and bone, a spray of blood hitting the cave wall. My vision whites. I feel my grip slacken around his neck. I'm fading, but it feels so _good_. Haruka loves me. He loves me so much, he wants to become one with me, and I want the same. I want him inside me, I want to be inside of him. In my head I chant my plea over and over again as he tears into me, our love-making echoing throughout the cavern, drowned out only by the musical sounds of flesh ripping and a life ending.

_Devour me. Devour me._ _**Devour me** _ _…!_

.

.

.

I wake up screaming.

It takes me several moments to realize that I'm in my room. I'm drenched in freezing cold sweat, my pillow and blankets soaked through. I rake trembling fingers through my hair, trying to normalize my breathing. That dream… It was so incredibly _real_. I felt like I was really there, so much so that my neck is still throbbing with the memory, and my pants feel tight and uncomfortable.

I glance at the clock and groan. 3:43am. I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall. I'm not sure _what_ to call a dream like that. _Was_ it a dream? A premonition, maybe? That dank cave filled wall to wall with bone fragments… Does Haruka live in a place like that? I can remember Haruka giving me fuzzy pictures of his old home in my mind. It's possible that I could have experienced something similar. If that's the case, those were the bones of his victims. The details of the dream are quickly trickling from my mind, harder to hold on than grains of sand, but the feeling of horror and arousal remains.

A shudder runs through me and my various marks twinge in pain. I don't blame Haruka for needing to eat. I can't possibly hold that against him, but as for helping him do it…

I take several deep breaths to calm myself down. I have to come to a decision quickly, before Haruka decides to make up my mind for me.

.

.

.

It's too crowded in the classroom to eat.

The sounds of students talking and the click of chopsticks against plastic are causing me an unreal amount of anxiety. I'm finding it hard to talk today for no other reason than my inability to think of what to say. I've been avoiding social interactions like the plague, and although I can clearly tell that Nagisa, Rei and Gou are worried about me, I can't do anything to change it. No one understands. There's no possible way I can tell anyone what I'm going through, so it's easier to avoid those interactions altogether.

I make my way to the roof, happy for an excuse to leave the stuffy classroom. There's a small group of first years sitting by the door and a 3rd year boy checking his phone, but it's easy to distance myself from them and find a place to myself. I lean my arms on the ledge and close my eyes, trying to calm down. A cool breeze stings my face and arms, bleakly reminding me that fall is on the way.

Where does Haruka go when it gets cold? Does he hibernate somewhere, or does he keep himself warm by swimming all the time? I haven't ever asked him. If he hibernates, I'm not sure what I'll do. Being without Haruka for that long might kill me.

There are a lot of things I don't know about Haruka.

"Mako-chan?"

Although the voice surprises me, I barely make a move. It occurs to me just how exhausted I actually am. Nagisa appears at my left side, glancing up at my face wearing a concerned look.

"Hey, you okay?" he asks. I think to ask how he knew I was up here, but the question is pointless.

"Yeah," I reply instead, forcing a smile. Nagisa doesn't look convinced. "It was getting stuffy in there. I just wanted some fresh air."

Nagisa leans against the barrier and sighs. "Mako-chan... Is it okay if I say something?"

"Go ahead."

He worries his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. "I've been kind of worried about you lately."

"Yeah?" I laugh, but its vacant of humor. I don't like where the conversation is going already but I knew it would happen sooner or later.

"Mako-chan..." Nagisa pushes off the barrier and confronts me, making me immediately feel uncomfortable. "Is it that girl? I feel like you two might be trying too hard to keep your relationship a secret from everyone. I don't think its good for you... So..."

 _What do you know? You have no idea what you're talking about! Shut up!_ So many vile responses spring immediately to the surface, but I bite them down with all my might. Nagisa is concerned about me. I know that somewhere. I try and remind myself of that as I smile.

"Nagisa, thank you, but-"

"I know what you're going to say, and you're _not_ fine!" Nagisa's voice carries surprisingly far, gaining the attention of the students by the door. I can feel my ears burn and my anger bubble. "You're falling asleep in class every day! Rei-chan told me that you don't even show up at the track club anymore, and you look like a zombie walking through the halls! _Don't say you're fine_!"

I want this conversation to be over. Nagisa doesn't understand. Of _course_ he doesn't understand. I'm not sure I could ever make anyone understand. I feel guilty that I can't explain myself, desperate because I wish I could, and furious that he's prodding my wounds like an ignorant child with a stick. All of these things mix and meld together to create something so exhausting and heartrending that I can't possibly express it.

"You don't need to worry," I say slowly, calmly, habitually slipping into the speech pattern I usually reserve for my siblings when they're worked up, "I know it seems like I'm spreading myself too thin, but 'she' is not the problem. Being with her is important to me. She wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

"I want to believe that," Nagisa says. I can't help but notice his eyes flick to my right side, looking through me to my back, "but you've changed lately, Mako-chan. I can't figure out what you're thinking. I just want to understand. I told you, remember? That you could tell me anything?"

I feel my irritation deflate immediately. Nagisa is truly a good friend, even now, even while I'm lying to him and everyone else. I'm worrying everyone. My parents, my friends, virtually everyone I know. My inability to tell them what's going on is causing everyone so much worry. My chest swells with guilt. I've felt so much guilt these last few weeks for all of my secrecy and lies, its been hard to live with myself. I feel like a burden. I want my friends and family to be happy, but I also want to be a good mate for Haruka. The more I try and push myself, the more I realize I can't balance both. Haruka knew this from the beginning. He's been trying to help me make a decision. Honestly, I made my decision a long time ago.

I know exactly what I have to do. I had been despairing so much over the task Haruka had entrusted me with and keeping this portion of my life a secret from everyone, I hadn't even considered the easiest alternative. Just the thought of it lifts invisible weights from my shoulders.

"I remember," I say, feeling better than I have in weeks. I take a deep, refreshing sigh. "Thank you, Nagisa. Everything will be okay, I promise. There won't be anything to worry about very soon."

.

.

.

Haruka's blue eyes are wide and vaguely confused.

 _Makoto… Wants to leave Iwatobi?_ His tone is impossible to discern, but I hear some curiosity mingled into the sound.

"Yes," I say, determined. "Let's leave Iwatobi together."

I'm crouched at the edge of the water, hands holding my knees. Haruka had risen from the water just enough to be able to peer at me, eyes unblinking and focused. It's so dark out tonight all I can see are those eyes, glowing intensely.

"I've had time to think about it. I think that we should go somewhere else, somewhere where it can be just the two of us. I won't have to worry about upsetting anyone, and I can devote myself to you without having to worry."

Haruka tilts his head slightly. _Have you chosen someone for me yet?_

I came here tonight full of confidence, but Haruka's non-responsiveness to my idea is somewhat disconcerting. Guiltily, I cast my eyes away.

"No... Not yet." I sense a shift in the atmosphere, and I immediately apologize. "I'm sorry! But…! That's why I'm suggesting this. I've made up my mind, and I want to be with you, Haruka. No matter what. But not here." Something constricts painfully in my chest, and I look down at my feet. "Not here."

 _Why?_ Haruka asks, his aggression obvious but strangely subdued. I get the feeling he's too hungry to exert too much energy. I've already taken too long bringing him the nutrients he needs, and I feel a horrible amount of guilt over that fact. It was because of this that I had come to the conclusion I had.

I suck in a tight breath. "Because I'm _myself_ here," I say, the words coming out mechanically. I know if I think about my words too much, I won't be able to say what I'm really feeling, so I just let the words pour out on their own. "I can't bring myself to choose anyone from Iwatobi. I know these streets too well, these buildings…. These _people_. Even if I don't know them, somehow I feel like I do. I realized today that I have to change for you. I _want_ to change for you. But I can't do it here, surrounded by so many things that remind me of who I am."

I've gone insane. I know that I have. I'm not so disillusioned to think that anything about this is normal. I'm planning on changing every aspect of myself so that I can hold on to Haruka for as long as possible. I don't care what happens to me anymore, I just want to be Haruka's mate. I'll become inhuman for him, if that's what it takes. I'll endure anything he puts me through. All I can think to do is leave. My family and friends will be upset, but in the end, they'll move on. They'll live their lives as normal. No one mourns forever, and this case will be no different. All of the missing people in Iwatobi have become fodder for high school rumor-mills, fading into urban legends and spooky stories. I'll be no exception. It's almost a relief to think that all that will be left of the person I am now will be a rumor floating around the Iwatobi High hallways.

Haruka is staring at me, silent. Lately I've gotten good at reading his expressions no matter how cryptic they appear, but right now I'm at a loss. My nervousness is growing ten-fold. Does he not like this idea? Did he want to stay in Iwatobi for some reason? Or maybe… Was he planning on leaving me eventually? Does the idea of living closer with me disinterest him?

"Do you understand?" I ask, my voice carrying a note of desperation. I try and push those disheartening thoughts far away to the darker corners of my mind. "If we leave, I promise I'll be perfect for you. I'll do anything you want me to do, I promise. I love you, Haruka. I seriously love you… So…"

Haruka is moving towards me. I've seen crocodiles gliding through the water with only their eyes jutting above the surface, fixated on their prey; this looks similar. Not making a sound, he nears me. I don't move. I can't. There is no song holding me in place. I can't even tell if I'm afraid or not. There is clear aggression radiating off of Haruka - no, not aggression, _hunger_ \- and I realize that I screwed up. Haruka is starving. He wants to feed. He told me this days ago, and instead of finding food for him like I promised, I'm trying to get him to uproot his life and move somewhere else. Of course it would end this way.

Haruka pulls himself up just in front of me, sea-blue eyes boring into mine intensely. At this point, I know there's nothing I can do against him. I raise my hand slowly and touch the side of his face. He doesn't move a muscle, so I take the opportunity to slip my fingers into his soft, wet hair.

He's so beautiful.

"It's okay," I hear myself breathe. I smile at him as he watches me, his muscles tense, ready to snap. "It's okay."

I don't know why I'm saying that. But the words keep coming, fading into whispers, silently thanking him for allowing me to touch him. My heart is beating wildly against my ribcage. Even though I've prepared myself, even though I've decided I would let him kill me, some part of me is still terrified of death.

He lunges. My vision goes black. No… No! I don't want to pass out. If Haruka kills me, I want to feel it. I want to feel myself becoming one with him. I feel my back hit the sand and the sensation jolts me back to consciousness. I must have only blacked out for a second.

I can feel where Haruka had been holding my upper arms. Droplets of water on my cheeks and forehead tell me that he had been hovering over me just moments ago… But now, I feel nothing. He's gone. In shock, I sit up, scanning the surface of the water. The water ripples in a rhythmic pattern, marking which direction Haruka had swam off. My voice is stuck somewhere in my throat, or else I'd call out to him. Trembling, I manage to stand up, my arms numb from fright. Haruka is leaving.

I can just barely make out Haruka's tail as it flops out of the water some yards away, beats strongly against the surface, and then disappears below.

Just disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay...!
> 
> Several weeks ago some dumb stuff happened that sort of stopped me from writing for a while. I just lost all motivation to write. It was sort of like writers block peppered with PTSD and poorly-timed self-discoveries. I knew it was pointless to force myself, so I just tried to distract myself with other things and wait for the motivation to come back on its own. Thankfully, lately I've been getting back into the swing of things. 
> 
> This chapter also turned out to be so long that I had to turn it into two chapters, so the final chapter will be coming to you guys shortly. (Aside from one scene, it's already done.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto gives up.

About three weeks have passed. I haven't seen Haruka since the night I asked him about leaving Iwatobi.

My thoughts are scrambled. Saying I'm depressed is an understatement. I feel like I've lost the will to live - no, _exist_. The thought of living without seeing Haruka is more painful than I ever imagined possible. I thought that perhaps being away him for an extended period would be similar to detoxing. Maybe, I thought, just maybe I'd be able to carry on and live a normal life, his influence over me fading into a memory. I was wrong. Every day without Haruka is harder to withstand than the day previous.

It's strange, but I can _feel_ that he's gone. I never realized how acutely aware of his constant presence I was, but I must have been. I feel like a part of me has been amputated. It's such a large piece that I'm positive I can't function without it.

My health is failing. I try to eat but eating just makes me sick, so I try and avoid food if I can. My parents took me to the hospital, worried that I was ill; predictably, the doctor could find nothing wrong. I'm taking medication for my nausea and vitamins for the nutrients I'm lacking, but I know it won't help. I know what's happening. My mind has given up so resolutely that my body has followed suit.

My parents are looking into mental health solutions for me. Three days ago I spoke to a therapist, but I can't remember anything that was said. I can't talk about it. There's no point. Even if someone _did_ believe me, it wouldn't help my situation. No one can make Haruka come back to me.

 _I drove him away_. That thought plagues me constantly. If I had just complied with him immediately, found someone for him to eat, maybe he'd still be here. Horrible thoughts pool in my mind. What if I had just let him take Nagisa…? Would he still be with me? The thought makes me physically sick. I've become so deranged that I'm beginning to regret not having killed my precious friend. The realization makes me so ill that I very nearly want to end it all.

I wish Haruka had killed me. Then I wouldn't have to suffer like this, or have these terrible thoughts. I could be with him in some form.

I haven't gone to school in over a week. Nagisa has visited me a few times, always bringing schoolwork or a gift in the form of treats or a stuffed animal, but I can barely look him in the face. I do my best to act normal and carry a cheerful disposition when he visits, but I know he isn't falling for it. Between how much weight I've lost and how dead I feel on the inside, everytime Nagisa looks at me I feel like he's doing his best not to cry.

My parents are the same. They're going out of their minds with worry, but whenever they speak to me, they always wear encouraging smiles and go out of their way to make things easy for me. Ren and Ran don't fully understand what's happening, but they're doing the same, walking on eggshells around me. Their devotion breaks my heart. I can't stand how much pain I'm putting them through. They deserve a better son than me. My siblings deserve a better older brother. Nagisa, Rei and Gou deserve a better friend.

Haruka deserved a better mate.

Despite everything, I haven't given up hope. Haruka's gone, but he could come back at any moment. This is the thought that keeps me going. I know that he may never return for me, but I feel like giving up on him entirely would be like being unfaithful to Haruka in some way. Whenever I can slip away, I go down to those familiar docks. Sometimes I sit there for hours, eventually giving in to the chill of the night and returning home; other nights I let myself fall asleep there, waking with the sun. I'll wait as long as it takes. Until my body completely gives out on me, I'll continue to wait for him.

.

.

.

I've been sleeping a lot. If I don't sleep, I drown in my thoughts and insecurities. My dreams are always about Haruka. At least in my dreams, I can see him.

Another week has trickled away. I haven't been able to return to school because of my mental and physical condition, and although the medication helps me keep food down, I still have no desire to eat. The only time I leave the house is to see the therapist or secretly make my way down to the docks.

Tonight is the first night in several days that I've been able to summon the strength to sneak out of the house, and as I quietly pull my shoes on and grab my bag, I think I can hear my parents speaking in hushed voices in the other room. The sounds of my mother softly crying reach my ears, and my heart pulls into a stranglehold. Swallowing a painful lump in my throat, I stand up and pull the door open as quietly as I can.

Slipping out into the night, the cool night air hits my face, accompanied by the pungent, salty smell of the ocean. I breathe it in, feeling like it's been an eternity since I last experienced it. A sad nostalgia washes over me, but I brush it off and start walking. There's no use in thinking about the past. I feel like it was years ago that we moved back to Iwatobi. All of the memories I have before meeting Haruka are so foggy and unclear, it certainly feels like they were from ages ago.

The stores are all closed this time of night, so buying fish is out of the question. There's no need, anyway. The smell of mackerel won't bring Haruka back. If he comes back, it will be on his terms. I know this. That's why I wait. It's all I can do.

It takes me longer than usual to reach my destination. I had to stop several times to rest; lately, my fatigue has been manifesting in the form of dizzy spells and shortness of breath, two things I've never experienced before in my life.

Dropping my bag next to the water, I let out a long sigh and sit down in my usual spot, attempting to get comfortable. The moon shines brightly on the water, and there's hardly a cloud in the sky. The moon makes me think of Haruka. The first time I ever saw Haruka, he was bathed in moonlight, dazzling and unbelievably radiant.

I bring my knees up to my chest and bury my forehead in my arms. It hurts to come here. Remembering is so painful it makes it hard to breathe, but forgetting seems even worse. All I have are my memories. Even the frightening memories are precious to me.

I'm unsure how long I sit by the water. By the time I come back to my senses, my legs are numb and tingling, and I realize I must have dozed off at some point; the moon is positioned differently in the sky, and the air feels colder. I zip up my hoodie and start rubbing my legs, trying to get the feeling back into them. As I do this, something in the water catches my attention and I freeze.

There's something large moving under the surface of the water. I can see the shimmering ripples and the strong pull of a familiar fin leaving behind a trail of large bubbles. I'm positive my heart has stopped beating. My throat is dry, and when I open my mouth only a pathetic choke emerges. Could it be…? Was this a dream? There's no fish that size that would be swimming in such shallow water, right?

The ripples stop just near the edge of the water. I'm frozen to the spot. My emotions are doing a dozen things at once, but mostly I'm scared that he'll swim away again, scared that I'm seeing things. I feel like I can't let myself believe anything for certain until I can really see him, touch him, feel him against me. Even so, I try and speak.

"Haru… ka…?" My voice is hoarse because of the chilly night air. No movement from under the surface. I feel like the bottom of my stomach has dropped into my intestines.

Suddenly, a haunting song fills the air around me. For the briefest of seconds, I'm elated. Haruka is back. I don't even care _why_ he came back. Just hearing this familiar melody is enough for me right now. Even if he only came back to eat me, I'm overcome with so much joy I very nearly dissolve into tears right then and there.

My breath stops somewhere in my chest, and an icy realization hits me. This isn't Haruka's song. It isn't his voice. I can't understand the words that are mixed into the music, and the melody is one I've never heard before. It sounds similar, but that's all. Altogether it sounds foreign to my ear. Have I been without him for so long that I've forgotten how to understand him, perhaps?

My voice comes out louder and stronger this time. "Haruka?"

The song continues. I feel sick. The song is pulling me in, but this time, I dislike its influence. I can't explain it, but I feel dirty succumbing to it. Tainted. As if someone else's hands are touching me, someone other than Haruka's.

Something slowly rises up in front of me, water streaming from its hair and shoulders. It's a Siren, that much is true, but it isn't Haruka. It's hair is long and of a deep seaweed color, and its skin is several shades lighter than Haruka's. It stares at me, a stare so incredibly different from the one I've grown used to, golden eyes boring into mine. I don't find it beautiful. I want nothing to do with it. What is it even doing here? I recall what Haruka had once told me about Sirens and how they chose territory. This Siren must have found this spot just as agreeable as Haruka had when he first arrived, and since Haruka is no longer here to defend it… Did that mean Haruka is definitely never coming back? Or could it mean…

The song becomes louder, and I feel my body involuntarily jerk forward. The Siren is slowly swimming backwards, farther into the water, pulling me with those invisible strings, its eyes glinting with unmistakable hunger. It wants to eat me. For so long I've been comfortable with the idea of being killed and eaten by a Siren, but only because it was Haruka. I couldn't let this Siren have me. I belong to Haruka. Even if Haruka never comes back, even if I never see him again, I belong to him, and only him.

I'd forgotten how difficult the Siren's song is to resist, and my body is remarkably frail at the moment, making me feel hopeless. I try and remind myself that it's all in my mind. Haruka has already built his own barriers in my brain, filling me with his thoughts, his words and his memories. I try and focus on this as I fight the haunting influence. My mind is already marked by Haruka. Could that be enough to break free of this?

Despite my attempts, I'm crawling towards the water, and I feel my hands sink into wet dirt, water submerging my wrists, then my elbows. My heart is hammering out of control. If I don't break away from this soon… I focus my thoughts as much as I can. _Haruka_. I still don't know if my thoughts can reach him, or if I was ever able to do something like that in the first place. It never seemed like it. Still, my inner voice rings out strongly, more out of desperation than actual faith that he'll hear me. _Haruka. Haruka. Haruka_! The song is blaring into me, pulling my senses apart. I can feel cold water up to my neck, and a slick, strong hand grabbing my wrist to pull me deeper still. I'm going to die. I don't want to die like this. Even now, _I don't want to die like this_.

I shut my eyes as I'm pulled under the water. I hadn't had the cognitive freedom to take a deep breath beforehand, so already my lungs are burning and I'm sputtering. _Haruka_. I wanted to see him one last time.

I feel my hand ball into a fist and my arm violently pulls away from the Siren's grip. As I'm not being immediately grabbed a second time, I assume that my attacker is surprised by my sudden rebellion. I am, too. I'm not sure what happened, but something has snapped within me, and without hesitating I'm swimming toward the surface of the water with strength I didn't even know I had.

I break the surface and take a gasping breath for air, my lungs expanding gratefully. My heart is pumping in my ears and I'm dizzy from both my fight for air and my sudden and violent exertion of energy, but somehow I swim to the edge of the water and pull myself out, landing hard on my side, still gasping. Just having broken free of the trance seems to have taken a toll on my body, and I feel unbelievably heavy and sluggish. Although I know I should run while I can, I just can't summon the strength to do so.

I hear a splash behind me, and my momentary relief is cast away. Fear is a good motivator, I realize, and without even turning around I push myself off the ground and start to run. I don't get very far. My body is numb and unsteady, and before I even realize it I'm tripping and landing hard on my stomach. My head spins, and for a moment, I can't even think to try and get up again. The sound of something dragging along the ground snaps me back to my senses, but before I can react, strong hands are grabbing my right leg to hold me in place, and a horrific pain grips my right calf.

From my position, I can barely even scream. Long, jagged teeth are tearing into my leg, pulling my calf open. Lights explode behind my eyes. A rush of life-saving adrenaline courses through me and I kick my leg desperately, struggling to turn over. I manage it, and my wild flailing knocks the long-haired Siren off of me for only a moment before it grabs me a second time, teeth plunging back into my calf. The pain is unreal. I can feel the creature chewing the meat of my leg as pockets of white light streak across my vision. I scream, attempting to punch the creature off of me, but my arms feel limp and powerless. I've exhausted every bit of energy my ailing body had to give. Is this really how it ends? I almost want to laugh. If I was eaten alive, I figured it would be by Haruka.

My vision blots out. It's time to give up. I'm tired. I'm sick of the pain. _Just hurry up already_ , I think to myself as I lay there.

It takes me several moments to realize that I can no longer feel the Siren on my leg. I wonder if maybe it's eaten my entire limb, but no; the searing pain of the wound is still present, and I still have feeling in it. A sound reaches my ear like nothing I've ever heard. It's like hearing wild animals fighting, high-pitched noises mingled with tearing and vicious growls. There's splashing, too, so much splashing that I can only think of my siblings when they're clowning around together in a pool.

I suddenly realize what I'm hearing and I sit up so fast my head spins again. My blurry vision is drawn to the water, where I see an unbelievable sight. Glistening tails are flailing wildly in the water, two of them, and limbs are flying so fast I can hardly tell what's going on. As I manage to focus my gaze, my heart constricts painfully.

Haruka. It's Haruka. And he's fighting the other Siren. The two of them are trading blows, teeth bared, faces set in animalistic snarls. Their skin glistens with water and blood, fresh gashes on Haruka's upper arm and chest. Eyes flashing, the two of them are circling each other, diving in to bite or claw, strong tails whipping at each other.

I can barely process what I'm seeing. I sit there, transfixed and terrified, my heart in my throat. Is he fighting for me…? Did he really come back for me? Truly? I wish that I could feel relief or happiness, but instead I'm gripped with the very real possibility that Haruka could die right before my eyes. The injuries I see on him are already more than I can stand. All I can do is watch on in a stunned silence.

To my horror, the two of them disappear under the water. They must be out of breath, I realize, and I crawl forward, dragging my bloody leg carelessly in the sand. Cold fear washes over me as I look down into the dark water, their underwater fight apparent by how turbulent the water is at the surface. I feel tears sting my eyes. Haruka has to be okay. He _has to_.

The turbulence suddenly stops and the water becomes very still. Bubbles float to the surface, popping gently. My eyes search the water in a panic. I'm barely breathing. I don't care what happens to me, but Haruka… _Haruka_ …

Something bursts out of the water, and my eyes widen in terror. The other Siren. The long haired Siren's chest is heaving, gills overworked. It's skin is littered with gashes and bites, but its alive.

I can't move. I can't feel anything. The pain in my leg is only a phantom of what it was previously, and my throat is tight.

"Ha...ruka… Is he…?" My pointless question comes out as more of a sob.

The Siren stares at me, blood dripping down its face. It seems perplexed that I haven't escaped yet. I'm so angry I get the wild urge to throw a punch, but it would be useless. I can't do anything. It doesn't matter, anyway. Haruka is gone, and it's my fault.

A splash. From behind the Siren Haruka bursts out of the water, and with perfect precision bites into the back of the Siren's neck. The other Siren lets out an ear-piercing scream, and I instinctively cover my ears, watching with wide eyes. Haruka presses his full weight against the creature, pinning its chest to the ground, tearing into its neck with vigor. The Siren reaches back and tries to throw Haruka off of it, but it only succeeds in allowing Haruka to flip it over and bite directly into the jugular. The Siren's cries are silenced. Only a gurgling choke. Haruka pulls something up and out of the neck; it detaches with a sick snap, blood spurting.

The Siren is still. Haruka moves off of it, and it's body slowly slides into the water. Haruka knocks the corpse away from him with his tail, swimming over to the edge of the water, stopping just in front of me. As he composes himself, his eyes avoid mine.

I sit there, dumbfounded. I think to say something, but I can't find the words. Everything that's happened seems like a dream, something so surreal that I can't wrap my mind around it. I haven't yet accepted it as reality. Haruka spits a red wad into the water, wiping his face on the back of his arm.

Then he looks at me.

As soon as those familiar blue eyes find mine, I break down. Throwing my arms around his neck, I cry. I can't even manage to say anything, but I think he understands. Haruka wraps his arms around me, and my happiness is unmatched. He came back for me. I could have lost my entire leg and it wouldn't bother me right now.

_Makoto…_

I sob into his shoulder, holding him close to me. He's cold, but I've grown to love this coldness.

"You… You came back... You _saved_ me…"

I feel Haruka nuzzle my neck with his nose and mouth. _Makoto is mine. He belongs to me._

Haruka's voice helps me calm down, and I remember the gashes I'd seen on him before. I gently pull away and look at his chest; the wound looks to already be healing itself. I had no idea Sirens could heal so quickly. Haruka's words from a long time ago echo in my head: _You can't hurt me_. He never really considered the frailty of humans because he had never had to worry about being hurt. When he asked about my bandages some time ago, he really, honestly didn't understand what they were used for. Unless it was a fatal wound, they heal so extremely fast that it's useless to be concerned.

"Haruka, thank god… Your wounds..." I'm beyond relieved.

Haruka's eyes trail to my leg, and for the first time since I was attacked, so do mine. It's a mess. I'm steadily losing feeling in it from the knee down, and there's a ridiculous amount of blood. Worst of all, I can see that the Siren managed to rip a chunk out of me before being presumably stopped by Haruka. Just seeing the serious nature of the wound causes my head to spin from the blood loss.

 _Makoto needs bandages_. Haruka's voice is even and stoic, but determined. I stare at him, my tears reemerging. He remembered what I said…? My heart bursts at the words. I half-laugh, half-sob.

"Yeah… I might…"

 _How do we get them?_ Haruka asks. Honestly, I have no idea. I can't even think of going to a hospital right now. I just got Haruka back. If I leave him for even a moment, I think I would die. At this rate, though, I might die anyway.  


I have a sudden idea. "My bag…"

Haruka glances at it, and without additional prompting he grabs it and pulls it toward me. I feel almost like he's doting on me.

I open my bag and pull out my sweater. I had brought it in case my hoodie wasn't enough to keep out the cold; too often had I woken up on the beach, completely frozen. Carefully, I wrap my sweater around my leg, tying the arms together tightly, stretching the cloth to its limit. I let out a grunt of pain. It wasn't much, but hopefully it could at least stop the bleeding and hold it together until I can figure out what to do.

I look back at Haruka. I still can't believe he's here. I want to hug him again, but I'm starting to feel rather faint. "Why… Did you come back…?" I ask him, my mouth feeling numb.

Haruka blinks at me. _To get you_. he says simply.

"Get me?" I ask, confused.

 _I found a place for us to live. Just like Makoto said, far away from Iwatobi_.

I stare at Haruka with round eyes. That's what he'd been doing? He really went out and found us a place to live? I feel like I could cry again, but I don't think I have the energy.

"I… I thought… I thought I said something that upset you. I thought you left, and I… I seriously wanted to die…" My arms are shaking. Thoughts that had been eating away at me the last few weeks bubble to the surface, spilling out of my trembling lips. "I want to be with you no matter what! I don't want to be apart from you ever again! I'll do whatever you want me to do. Even if you stop desiring me, I still want to be with you. I'll make life easier for you. I'll get you all the food you want, so that you never have to hunt again if you don't want to. And if you want to eat me, that's fine too. So _please…_ "

I mean every word. Even if Haruka is no longer in heat, even if my time as his mate runs out, I will be useful to him. I will earn my place next to him until the day I die.

"...don't leave me ever again. Please."

Silence falls over us. I'm terrified that I've said something wrong, but that fear is immediately dashed away when I feel Haruka hold my face in his hands and press his mouth against mine. I sigh, melting into the kiss. I've missed this so much. A strong copper taste overtakes me, coating the inside of my mouth. The blood of the creature Haruka had killed for me. I push my tongue hungrily into his mouth, unashamedly tasting the blood of Haruka's kill. A tremor of elation runs through me. Haruka kisses me hard, his mouth covering mine completely, sharp teeth teasingly grazing over my lips. I sling my arms around his neck and Haruka gently pushes me down onto my back.

I kiss him with weeks worth of pent-up affection. I know that I should be getting to a hospital, but I can't fathom doing that. Somehow, going back to civilization, even for something so serious seems out of the question. Haruka found us a place to live. I had already decided to abandon my life here, so that I can truly belong to Haruka. My new life begins now. I can't go back. I'll find a way to patch my leg up myself. I'll learn how to take care of my own body so that I can stay in good condition. If Haruka wants to bite me, I'll learn to deal with it.

As if reading my mind, Haruka pulls away from my lips and trails his mouth down my jaw and neck. My fingers slip into Haruka's hair, the metallic taste of blood still stinging the inside of my mouth. Haruka yanks the collar of my shirt down, licking my collarbone. I let out a groan, dizzy from the sensation and undoubtedly from the blood loss.

"Haruka…"

The familiar feeling of Haruka's teeth on my skin draw forth an aroused gasp, and I grip his hair tightly. Haruka's teeth are biting down on my collarbone, gently. Haruka's mark. I'm overcome with happiness. That Siren left its mark on my leg, an ugly mark that will possibly last forever, contrasting the beautiful mark that Haruka gave me on my shoulder. I want to be covered in Haruka's marks, only his. I'm disappointed that my leg is branded by another, but as Haruka pulls away from my collarbone, blood droplets shimmering on his lips, I realize it doesn't matter. Haruka's marks are the only ones that I care about.

I lean up and lick my blood off of Haruka's lips. Haruka kisses me again, aggressively, drawing in a sharp breath through his nose. Our tongues tangle desperately, unable to taste each other quickly enough.

We break away for a breathless moment. Between his earlier fight and my injuries, our mutual over-zealousness is exhausting. I exhale a shaky sigh against his lips.

"I want to always be together with you," I whisper, interlinking my fingers behind Haruka's neck. He allows it, pressing his forehead against mine. I close my eyes, happiness flooding me. "I don't care about anything else. I don't want to live if I can't be with you."

Haruka affectionately pecks at my lips. A rare action from him, I realize.

 _I want Makoto to always be with me, and to never ever think about leaving._ he says, his voice more loving than I've ever heard it.

I shake my head gently, my wet bangs brushing the tip of Haruka's nose.

"I won't."

_I'll kill Makoto if he ever tries to leave._

When we first met, those words would have terrified me to my core. Hearing them now, I'm filled with an indescribable feeling. It's more than happiness. I understand Haruka completely now. This possession - this madness - is his love. An insane, poisonous love. Haruka loves me. He loves me so much he would kill me if I tried to leave him. Not out of hunger or rage, but because I belong to him.

That's right.

I really do belong to Haruka.

The corners of my mouth pull into a smile. "I'll never leave." I promise. I could never. Not because he would kill me, but because I would die without him.

Wherever he goes, I'll follow. I have enough money saved up to be able to start somewhere new, and I can lie about my age to get a job somewhere. I'll make it work. I feel only a dash of disappointment that I was unable to say goodbye to my family and my friends, but I feel like it's easier this way. It's easier to just disappear.

I feel myself fading, but I'm happy. Haruka is with me. As my vision blurs and my body succumbs to unconsciousness, I can still feel the sensation of him holding me. I know that tonight, he'll stay with me until I wake up.

I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka. I love Haruka.

As my world fades to black, this is my only thought, constant and consuming, mingled with the sweet feeling of Haruka's cold body pressed against mine.

.

.

.

She glanced at her wristwatch, cursing under her breath. She was late. Or at least, she was going to be if she didn't hurry.

She had been at the library far later than she had intended, and it was already dark outside. Normally this wouldn't present too much of a problem, but lately her mother had been adamant that she return home before the sun went down. Her mother never used to be so overprotective, but considering the disappearances over the last few months, lots of parents around town were giving their children curfews.

As she unhitched her bike from the bike rack, she checked her phone. Sure enough, several texts, all from her mother. A short phone call and plenty of apologizing later, she hopped on her bike and started toward home, borrowed books weighing her down.

By the time she reached the residential district, she was walking alongside her bike, sweat beaded at her forehead. She'd promised to hurry home, but those damn books were _heavy_ and this street had a bit of an incline to it. Walking was easier.

The streets were decently bare. They usually were around this time. Occasionally you saw someone carrying grocery bags home, but people usually tried to get their shopping done sooner. Again, the disappearances had everyone spooked. Explanations ranging anywhere from suicides to aliens to ghosts ravaged the town, and although there were absolutely no leads, people were already starting to get somewhat suspicious of each other. It was sad, honestly. She supposed it was only natural, though. The only bit of information was a song. A strange song that some of the victims reported hearing before they went missing. To her, it seemed like some sort of elaborate viral marketing for a horror movie. Too ridiculous to be true.

The rhythmic squeak of her bike wheels was the only sound to be heard on the desolate street. As she neared her turn, she noticed a figure walking steadily along under the streetlights, grocery bag in hand, heading in the direction of the ocean. Despite having no reason to panic, she felt slightly unnerved. Perhaps it was because she had just been thinking about the disappearances. Either way, it was doubtful she would be attacked on the street. Even if the street was bare, she knew there were people everywhere. All she had to do was scream, and someone would come running, she was sure.

The figure was walking toward her, on the other side of the street. She subtly glanced as he came closer; he was a tall man, looking to be just out of high-school, with an admittedly handsome face from what she could tell. His hair was a soft brown color, and his other features were obscured by shadows as he passed under the street lights. Most noticeably, he walked with a bit of a limp.

She averted her eyes when he got close enough to clearly notice her, embarrassed for her starring. She looked back again almost reflexively when she realized there was blood on his neck, glistening under the light of the street lamp, soaking into his collar.

She stopped walking and followed the man's retreating back with her eyes, feeling torn. She should really go home. But… That man was clearly hurt. He was limping, too. Was it possible that wasn't an old injury, but a new one? Did he get beat up?

Relenting to her curiosity and her conscience, she turned her bike around and hopped on it, pedaling hard and stopping abruptly several feet in front of him. The man stopped as well, eyes wide in surprise.

"Sorry," she said immediately, feeling bad for startling him. Close up, she noticed that he was incredibly pale, ashen perhaps, as if he were ill. "Are you okay? Did you… Did you know that you have some…?" She pointed to her own neck, indicating his own.

The man touched his fingertips to his neck and drew his hand away. She almost thought his lips twitched at the sight of his red fingers.

"Oh, my. How careless, I didn't even notice…!" He wiped at his neck with his hand a second time, this time to clean off the blood. Under the street light, she could see very clear teeth marks on his skin as he wiped away the mess. "No wonder the cashier at the store was so quiet… How embarrassing…"

"Did something _bite_ you?" she asked incredulously. The man glanced at her and smiled warmly.

"Yes. A dog. It's not a bad bite, I can barely feel it."

"Are you sure?" she asked. He seemed a little too calm about the situation. "Did the dog… Uhm… Get your leg, too?" She suddenly felt terribly awkward for asking.

"Oh, no," the man said with a gentle chuckle. He clamped a hand over his neck and sighed, smiling at her. "Thank you for being so concerned."

"Ah, it's no problem…" She didn't feel right, just pedaling away without doing anything. She rummaged around in her pocket, locating her handkerchief. "Here," she said, offering it to him. The man stared at the cloth in apparent surprise. "For the blood. If you walk home looking like that, you might just get stopped again."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I've got a ton at home, you can just throw it away when you're done with it."

The man smiled at her, a sweet smile that was incredibly sincere. He took the handkerchief from her, holding it up to look at it. She watched him, confused.

"Thank you so much. Even though you don't know me at all and we're complete strangers, you'd still do something like this for me."

She felt a blush spread to her cheeks. "It's seriously nothi-"

She stopped mid-word as the man brought the handkerchief to his nose, closing his eyes. He gently smelled it, his broad chest swelling with the breath. He let out a gentle sigh of contentment. "It smells like you, I can tell. You must carry this everywhere with you." His eyes opened, half-lidded, all the light seemingly drained from them. Inwardly, she shivered. "Will he like this one, I wonder…?" he murmured, much more quietly. She stared, speechless. Was this guy actually a pervert? Or an eccentric? A handsome nut-job, maybe?

The man lowered the handkerchief, pale lips once again pulled into a genuine smile. It was like the moment preceding this one had never happened. "Everyone is so kind in this town. Though… In the end, we're all strangers, aren't we?" he said. Unsure of what to say or how to respond, she gripped the handlebars of her bike, ready to speed off if necessary. There was no such need.

"Thank you again. Have a good night." The man nodded to her with a honeyed smile, slipped the handkerchief into his pocket, and walked past her.

She watched him go as he continued to walk away from the residential district and toward the sea, still vaguely muddled about the entire encounter. When he was out of sight, she checked her wristwatch again, hopped on her bike and sped off towards home, not stopping for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so technically this would be the 'good end'...? I mean, they ended up together in the end, so... /hides face
> 
> I told you it wouldn't end well! I have to admit that I have a soft spot for yandere!Makoto, so ending it this way was satisfying for me even if it's really messed up, haha. 
> 
> I'm really happy to be done! This was a really fun story to write, surprisingly. Originally this was going to be a dark horror one-shot in the form of journal entries written by Makoto chronicling his experiences with Haruka, (with his entries getting steadily more unbalanced and insane,) but I ended up scrapping that idea when the story became too long. In the end I'm really glad that I changed it.
> 
> I'm a little sad at the same time, though, because I still want to write more about Siren!Haru, and I have a lot of ideas about how Makoto and Haruka are 'living together'. I might do some one-shots about the 'happy couple' and their life together, if that's something you guys would be interested in reading. :)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read this whole thing and continued to encourage me the whole time. ❤ And remember kids, don't fall in love with Sirens. You'll have a bad time.


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